Friday, May 23, 2014

There is no "good" brain tumor!

This is what I wrote on my Facebook page today:
Here are my profound thoughts for today. There is no such thing as a "good" brain tumor. There is no such thing as a "benign" brain tumor. A brain tumor is something that is in your brain that is not supposed to be there. This is not good. Here is a definition of tumor: Here is a definition of tumor: "An abnormal mass of tissue that results when cells divide more than they should or do not die when they should. Tumors may be benign (not cancer), or malignant (cancer). Also called neoplasm."
In this context, the word "benign" means not cancerous. It does not mean "good". I have a brain tumor. It is a meningioma. I get told that "if you have to have a brain tumor, this is a good one to have". Really? What so good about it?
I have constant pain. I cannot drive. I have to have surgery and have my head/ skull cut open with power tools. What's the good part about this?

This evening, at about 6:00, I had a terrible, horrible, skull splitting headache.  I felt like my head was going to explode from the inside.  I wrote the above while I was feeling the pain building up.  I went outside and sat on the deck holding my head and crying.  Nick came out to comfort me.   He listened to me (helplessly- nothing he could do), and he let me cry.

I had taken some Percocet at 4:00, so I couldn't take any more so soon.   I am really good at making sure I don't take too much Percocet, even when I feel so bad.   

I may not have had enough water to drink today.  After drinking some water I started to feel better.

Finally, at 10:00 I took some more medicine and it started to help.

I need to read and re-read my information and see what it says about feeling so bad.  Maybe I should have gone to the hospital- I don't know.  I don't know what, if anything it means to have the pain get so much worse.

Now, my eyelids are dropping and I am going to get to bed for a good nights sleep. 

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