Friends

 The other day I went to help a mom with breastfeeding.  Somehow it made me melancholy.  Not the mom and her baby.  It just got me feeling lonely and feeling like I don't have any friends.

I have friends of course, but, aside from my sister and husband I don't do much fun stuff with friends.  Not sure if that even makes sense.  When the kids were little and dependent on me, we did things with other moms who also had little kids.   I had playgroups in many of the places we lived overseas.   

I miss that.  Not so much the chasing little kid part, although it was pretty nice most of the time.  I just mean sitting around with other women and solving the world's problems.

When we lived in Perth, all of the kids were school aged and I was not so up to my neck kids all the time.  But I did have women friends.  I was a room mum.  We had a weekly stitch and bitch.  I was in the Ladies Auxiliary at the kid's school.   I felt like I had a social life.

Now, we are retired.  The women who raised their kids side by side with me are all  off doing their thing.   Many if not most are grandmothers now.   I am feel left out and lonely.   

I spend too much time online.  Facebook mostly and emails.    (not sure what constitutes too much time).  

Then a lovely thing happened the other day.  I shared a post about parenting.  I cannot remember exactly - something about how we have made it through the hard part and now we re parents to these neat adults.

Well, a long time friend commented this: 

"you were mom mentor way back in the day. After I had one too many psycho moments in a day you suggested just start a journal and sell it to your kids when they are adults. Tell them it will save them the cost of therapy ( and help fund my retirement - my addition!) Seriously though you helped remind me that motherhood is hard work and we aren't going to proud of every step but we have years to work on the overall result. Thanks so much for mentoring and encouraging me"

 That made my day and reminded me that I am still a friend to many and I have many friends.   

My life has intersected with so many people.  Moms and babies who have been friends, or just someone that I was able to help and encourage about mothering and breastfeeding.

Yeah, that's what's important.

Decades

 

This orchid was given to me in 2014 for my first brain surgery

 

 When I turned 50, my mother had died just a few weeks earlier.   I graduated from college at 50.  And I celebrated 25 years as a La Leche League Leader

 As I approached my 60th birthday, I pondered what being in my 60s wold be like.  Then I was diagnosed with a brain tumor.  When I was 60, I had brain surgery.

Now I am pondering my next birthday.  It's not for another seven months, but, in May I will be 70.  I never considered that one day I would be 70.    I know, considering the alternative I am doing well.   But I see mortality looming.   Who knows, I could live another 30 years.  But I doubt it.  Thirty years ago when I was 40, I had a houseful of kids and a busy life and schedule.    And now I have a fairly empty house.  Two of us and Buddy our dog and for the moment, Molly, Austin's cat.

The calendar used to be so full of all of the activities.  Even up until the pandemic I think I was relatively active.  Not as much as when we had a houseful of kids, but busy enough. Then the pandemic came and our calendar on the wall was empty.  Vacant.   We isolated ourselves.

And now, the calendar is filling up with medical appointments.  I guess that's what happens.  

 

 

So busy with a full house!