February 25, 1978
I have probably posted this picture here before. It is a reminder of the day I became a mother. You only become a mother once. After that you are the mother of, five, in my case. But there is only one first. As you can see in the picture, I was happy beyond belief that I was about to become a mother. (This is before the serious labor set in).
I had a pregnancy before this one. I lost the baby. I was about 20 weeks along. I was, at that time, looking forward to being a mother. I was a "mother to be". But, alas, it was not to be after all. I never saw the little one I lost I grieved and cried and was in a bit of shock. Nick and I both were. And when I became pregnant with Courtney, before the day of home pregnancy tests, I had the doctor's office repeat the positive test 6 times before I would allow myself to believe it.
There is a term that I have learned recently: Rainbow Baby. That is a child who is born after a loss. Courtney is my [first] rainbow baby.
I had an early miscarriage in 1989, before I got pregnant with Chance, my fifth child (seventh pregnancy). That makes Chance my second rainbow baby.
All of my children have been my sunshine and my rainbows and my days and nights. They have been my heartbeat and my breath. They have held onto my hands and let go.
I wanted to be a mother and I got my wish.
What a lucky woman I am!