Sunday, April 23, 2017


This is the house my Grandfather was born in.  These are some of my Norwegian family .



Kjørrefjord--the family name

From Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia
Kjørrefjord is a barrier to List between Farsund and Vanse .
Farm No. 13

Country Norway Norway
County Vest-Agder
Municipality Farsund
Status Matrikkelgård
Area 1.37 km²
The state bought a part of Kjørrefjord around 1880 and started Kyrrefjord nursery school, one of the country's first. One purpose of the establishment was to contribute to forest rearing in Lista and surroundings, which at that time was almost deforestation. The nursery was run by the public until 1927, and then privately run until around 1940. Kjørrefjordskogen is currently owned by Upplysningsvesenet's foundation , and the forest is one of the largest producers of decorative greenery at Agder [1] .


The name may come from Kyrrefjord , which means "The quiet fjord". [2]

See also


  1. ^ Forest Society in Agder (31.10.2012). «Nature trail to Kjørrefjordskogen» . Visited 27.11.2015 .
  2. ^ Vere, Njål (1994). The Art , 2. Own Publishing . P. 195.


  • Kåre Rudjord: Listaboka II - gard and folk , Farsund 1981

Sunday, April 16, 2017

Happy Easter

Birth order 4th, 5th, 2nd, first and 3rd

This is from Christmas a few years ago.  But it is illustrative of who I used to color eggs for at Easter time  (if you click on the picture it gets bigger)

Friday, April 14, 2017

If it's not one thing, it's your mother- or your mother in law

My mother in law went into the hospital on the first of April.  She was feeling week and felt that she needed help.

After a bit over a week, she has been released from the hospital and is skilled nursing care.   No prognosis.  She is 99.  She is still "with it".  We are all worried, scared and stressed.

Meanwhile,  the world turns.   Assad drops chemical bombs on Syria and kills people in a most horrific and painful way.   We sent 59 Tomahawk missiles to a Syrian military air field.  We have dropped a huge bomb on Afghanistan.  North Korea is sabre rattling.  We are sending Navy war ships in the direction on North Korea.   And now, Assad (president of Syria) says that there were no chemical bombs- that the whole thing was a hoax.

I started going back to the gym.  I am thinking that I need to get my body moving so I can feel better.   Nick has been working.  Trying to make things better financially.

I went to Richmond for a few days.  Took one son for his sedation dental work. Took other son out to eat.   Went thrift shopping and got a sofa for dental appointment son.

I miss my kids.  No, I don't want them all moving back home.  I know that none of them wants that either.   But I would love to hear from them now and then.  Just a note asking how *I* am doing.  And how Nick's doing.   I have been sending updates on their grandmother's health condition.  One of them checks in for updates.  I know they all love her and care.   I am sure they all love and care about me too.  I just wish they would communicate .

I know that there probably is no way to ask the kids to keep in touch without being, or at seeming passive/ aggressive.

I was a pretty imperfect daughter.  I am sure I did things that disappointed my mother.  But I did write and call.  All of the years we were living overseas, I wrote to everyone.   When we were home, I talked on the phone with my mom almost every day.

The kids saw me get my feelings hurt by my mother, and so I suspect they didn't like her at times for that reason.

It's not easy being a daughter.   It's not easy being a mother.   Even when all of the kids are all adults.    I know that they don't "need" me.  But I need them.    All I need is a "hi Mom". An update of their lives and their feelings and experiences would be nice.   But just "hi" would be so nice.

Each of the kids, as a baby, did need me. They each depended on me totally.  Nursing , dressing, changing diapers.  And they needed me for love- which came so naturally for Nick and for me.  A love so deep I would put myself in front of any harm that threatened them.  Nick too.

I have been told/ warned that reminding your adult children of all the things you have done for them only causes resentment.    I get that.  Just about everything my mom did came with strings attached.

Life is all about transitions.  Babies grow up.  They become amazing "big people", adults.  Parents get old and frail and eventually leave us

Goals and dreams change too.  I have always thought of myself as being a lactation consultant for the rest of my life.  But I am tottering on retiring. I will always help moms and babies.  I imagine I will always be a LLL Leader.  But the legal and technical, medicalization of  the business of being an LC is disheartening to me.

Meanwhile, it is spring here in Reston, Virginia and it is beautiful here!

Monday, March 20, 2017

My friend, Teresa

Obituary of Teresa Edwards

Teresa H. Edwards, 56, of Herndon, Virginia, died suddenly on Wednesday, March 14, 2017, at Reston Hospital. She was born June 29, 1960, in Roanoke, VA, the daughter of Jack and JoAnn Hale.
During her childhood years, Teresa and her family moved multiple times, living in Roanoke, Virginia; Syracuse, New York; Cary, North Carolina; and Charlottesville, Virginia.
Teresa graduated from Albemarle High School in Charlottesville, Virginia with the class of 1978. She attended the University of Virginia and graduated in 1982 with a degree in Environmental Science. On September 25, 1982, she was united in marriage to Harold (Chip) Edwards in Charlottesville. In 1984 they moved to Herndon, Virginia. Teresa worked as a technical writer for a local engineering firm until birth of her first daughter in 1988.
Teresa was a stay-at-home mom who also had a love for animals and a passion for her pets. She home-schooled her two daughters and was involved in La Leche League for many years. Teresa was dedicated to finding loving homes for animals in need and recently became a volunteer for A Forever Home Rescue Foundation, a dog adoption agency. In her spare time, Teresa enjoyed spending time with her daughters, visiting her mother in Charlottesville, cooking healthy meals, caring for horses, and reading while sitting next to her dog Sadie.
She is survived by her husband Harold R. Edwards of Herndon Virginia; two children, Marie Nelson and Sallie Edwards of Herndon; her mother JoAnn Hale of Charlottesville, Virginia; and her sister, Kathy Hale of Herndon.
She was preceded in death by her father, Jack F. Hale.
A memorial service will be held Saturday, March 25 at 2:00 p.m. at the Holy Cross Lutheran Church in Herndon with Pastor Margrethe Kleiber officiating. The interment will be held following the service at the Cool Spring Natural Cemetery in Berryville, Virginia.
Memorial donations may be made to A Forever Home Rescue Foundation at (look for the “Donate” button on the right). If you donate online there is a field called “special instructions” that will allow you to you designate the donation in honor or in memory of Teresa. You may also mail your donation to the address below:
A Forever Home
P.O. Box 222801
Chantilly, VA 20153-2801

Monday, March 6, 2017

Three years ago

Three years ago today, my doctor listened when I complained of bad headaches. He ordered an MRI and I was diagnosed with a brain tumor. In June 2014 I had brain surgery to remove the benign tumor. I am grateful to my doctor for listening to me and to my sister, Carol Thompsen Hestvik for insisting I go to Johns Hopkins for my surgery and care

Tuesday, February 28, 2017

Some sort of epiphany

I have had this feeling of gloom and doom for a while now.  It's just been an underlying depression that I couldn't exactly put my finger on, but I was just feeling kind of blah.  

I know some of it comes from the election of Donald Trump.   But, usually something like that passes.  It is intense, but fleeting.  This was different.

Then, I think I finally figured it out.   I "lost" my "H" drive- an external hard drive on my computer.  I had all of my thousands of pictures stored there.   I had worked so hard on taking and storing and organizing them.  
The pictures were not actually "lost".  They are all still around.  But, not the way I had worked so hard to create and organize and file them.

I have tried to explain it and have not been able to articulate my feelings.  

Then, the other night, I couldn't sleep.  I got up and started to write/ draw out what I had "lost".  It was all of the work I had done to create a system that I loved.   I have had lots of suggestions such as "they are all there, you just have to re-organize them again".

I started to think about what it was I felt I had lost.  I thought of it as an object.  I told it to Nick this way;  imagine you made a beautiful guitar (which he has done), and it broke into a thousand pieces.   And you were heart broken.   And you were told "you have all the pieces, just put it back together".  Like it is that simple.   It is the loving care and thought and time that went into the beauty of the guitar, not just the "pieces".

I wrote down what I felt represents, somewhat, the order and system I had created, and why I felt too overwhelmed and too hurt (?) to just "replace" it.

I had made folders for every month since 2004.   For every month.  Plus I had made folders for special subjects.  and sub folders of those folder.   I had done a lot of photo shopping and cropping on a lot of my photos.  I don't know if I can ever pick up all of those broken pieces and put them together again.  I don't think my heart is in it.

But being able to articulate what my loss was, and to have it understood, took away that feeling of helplessness.    

It has been and is genuine grief.  No, not over a "living" being, but a piece of myself.   So, now I can get back to feeling like I am going to be alright.

Here's what I drew up in an effort to try to help it make sense to anyone else.  Mainly to Nick because I know he cares about it more than most anyone else would.

This represents all of the folders and work I put into my now lost filing system.

Wednesday, February 1, 2017

So far so good

The last week or so I have been contemplating my future.  Not that I am not always doing that anyway.  But, I found a lump in my breast.

I am a lactation consultant,  I know what breasts feel like.  Some are lumpy, but when a lactating breast is lumpy, it is usually a plugged duct.   I have not been a lactating mother for a very long time.  So, I did not imagine I had a plugged duct.

I was quiet about it for about a week.   I was able to get an appointment with my gynecologist to get an order for a mammogram.   I could have gone to get one without the doctor's order, but, I wanted her to write the order in a way that assured that the lump would be seen and studied.

I kept saying, "it's fine".  "I am going to be just fine".  "It's probably nothing".  But I had not really convinced myself.

I had always told myself that if I had breast cancer I would be fine and get through it.  If I needed to have my breasts removed, I would be okay with that too.

Then, for a brief moment of my life, I faced that possibility.  And I felt sad.  These are the breasts that fed my babies.  That have known life and love.  They are a part of me.

The fear of the practical things in life getting disrupted.  Like who would run the weekly drop in breastfeeding cafe' that I have held weekly for the last seven years.  Who would water my house plants, and keep the bird feeders full.  What would my kids think?   How would they cope?

And I kept smiling and telling everyone "oh it's all going to be fine".

Yesterday I had a very complete mammogram,  a 3D mammogram and an ultrasound.   When the tech said she was going to get the doctor, I braced myself for ...well.. whatever would come next.

The doctor came in smiling.  She shook my hand as she introduced herself, and she said I am just fine.  Nothing wrong.  No cancer.

I texted my sister because I know she was as worried as me if not more.  I texted my husband, and told him I was on my way home VIA the bird seed store.

I stopped at the grocery store and came home and cooked a good dinner.

And when I went to bed, I wanted to cry.  Cry hard.   I have had too many friends who did not have good news.  I cannot imagine how they felt, but I am sure they cried.

But, I didn't cry.   Nick came to bed and he read the names of various community center courses which we re-named into silly words and activities.  We laughed and laughed.  And I slept better than I have in a long time.