So, I have this tumor. In my brain. Giving me headaches. And what am I doing? Joking. Laughing. Reassuring everyone that I will be alright.
I am sure, somewhere on some deep level I cannot access, I am scared. But I am not feeling it. I am feeling confident that I am going to be okay. I am. I have too much life left to live.
Somehow, the things that were bothering me a week or more ago are not bothering me. Any more I should say, but I am not sure how long this calm will stay around.
I was re-reading my "Bucket List" blog entry. It is so amazing to think about where we have lived and what we have done in our lifetimes. I know that there is a lot more ahead. Right this minute I am not feeling the wander lust. The desire, almost a need to travel back to my former residences that were home when we lived there. Home. We were there. Together. Playing Scrabble and drinking tea in the evening. Birthing and raising babies and kids.
If I don't get back to all of those places, I will be alright. The places are so alive in my mind. Home. Love. Family. My family.
In Thai, it is custom to ask a person (young adult) คุณมีครอบครัวหรือยัง. "Do you have a family yet" The literal translation is "do you have a kitchen". When you are married, you have a kitchen-a home- a family. Every home we lived in had a kitchen. A heart. Maybe I should just write about all of our kitchens. They were each different from the last and nothing like our American kitchen.
Well, my brain may be renting space to a tumor, but there's just so much other stuff in there it's crazy! How lucky to have so many memories!
And now I will paste a picture of the poster of my life- from 10 years ago when I turned 50!