Tuesday. Another afternoon with the moms and babies at Starbucks. Took some Percocet this morning and meant to carry some with me in case I needed it, but I forgot it and I did fine. My energy, and head pain are so confounding. One minute I feel fine and energetic. The next, my head decides it has had enough peace and quiet and starts to hurt and sucks my energy away. Life. With a tumor in the brain. Yup.
I can't not write about it. It is my full time obsession. I guess it will be for a while. Maybe even the rest of my life.
I get upset and worn down and I cry some. But I am still just me. Slower and easier to tire right now. But not freaking out (too much!).
The weather (something people are always all too happy to talk about), has been very strange. On the weekend, it went up into the 80s, Right now it is just above freezing! We actually had sleet on the deck a while ago.
Oh yeah, I just remembered, I had a weird dream- I guess all dreams are really weird if you think about it. Anyway, in my dream, I was hanging out with Queen Elizabeth. She had granola bars in her purse. She was driving her Rolls and we (yes I was in the car with her) were racing all over London, driving really fast and laughing at how much fun we were having. Yeah, right! Weird! The night before, in my dream, Marielle Hemingway was telling me what to eat and drink to make my brain tumor go away. That's not quite so strange. Marielle was married to our best man. I have met her. She is into health food. Whatever.
I have an appointment at Johns Hopkins next week with Dr Brem. Carol looked him up, and she said he is really good. See, why should I worry when I have so many people to do it for me?
Lots of friends are asking how they can help, what they can do for me. I don't know, really. I have Nick and Carol. They can both help me get to wherever I need to go. They are both pretty good cooks and know what I like. I think the biggest thing for me is just to have company People who will just come and sit and tell me how their life is going. Stuff like that. That's what feeds my soul. People.
These both speak to me