Wednesday, October 8, 2014

Feeling stuck

I clip coupons.  I believe that if there are coupons for the things you buy, you should use them.  Nick doesn't like to use them because they are often confusing.  Well, they are.  I had a great coupon recently that was for 10% off of your entire purchase at Target.  Well, it actually said   10% (maybe it was even 20% I don't remember) off "Up and Up" labeled products.  I had no idea that was a product name.  I know now, it is the Target store brand.   So, yes, coupons can be confusing.   On the other hand, there was a coupon for Tide (which we use) with a great discount on two bottles and your get a $5.00 gift card too.  Well, it was a smaller size bottle than we usually use, but when I compared the price with the bigger bottle, the smaller ones with the coupon came out to costing less ounce for ounce.   Right now we are down to the last drops of dish soap.  I have coupon for Ajax dish soap for 89 cents for a big bottle.  Seems like a great deal. 

I am sitting here thinking about all the things I would like to do.  That I know would make me feel better and more energized.   Chores.   I want to clean and vacuum and dust and scrub floors and bathrooms.  Empty trash cans.   But, I just sit here.  I play solitaire on the computer.   I check email.  I check it again- as if anything world-shaking will have changed in 5 minutes, or if it had, what could I do about it anyway.

Yes, I am feeling blue..   Once again, our income seems to go so fast I wonder how we will cover our expenses.   As always, I know that we will get through this and everything will turn out alright.  But in the thick of it I worry and feel responsible.  

Yesterday, I moved some large branches that have fallen across my front garden.  Some have been there for months.  I love my front garden.   I worked really hard on designing it and having it put all together.  Nasty sticks and branches look awful there.  It looks better now.   I am overwhelmed by how much needs to be done to have the yard looking really nice and neat.  And then you have to do it all over again.

Insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting a different result.  Yes it is.

I love my husband so much it is impossible to say.  He is my friend.  We share the same taste- mostly- in British drama.  We have the same values about the important things- like how we raised and are raising our kids.  We both feel the same anxiety about our children when they are struggling.   We struggle too.

Nick tries hard, I know.  He makes a conscious effort to keep the kitchen clean and dishes done.   He has gotten some nice grass to grow in the front yard- nothing short of a miracle!  And I made fun of him for sitting and pulling up the weeds.  It seems to have worked.

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