My life lately seems to be full of "well, it all depends". When can we travel? When will the old house sell. When will I be able to have knee surgery?
When? I want to be spontaneous. Go on a trip with Nick, or alone. I would like it to not be so dependent on all of the "it depends".
My sister was diagnosed with breast cancer. She had a lumpectomy. Now we wait to see what the pathology report says. Then, depending on that report, what's next? We wait. A lot depends on it.
I want to have my knee surgery for knee replacement. But I wait for the right time. If my sister is going to need my support, I want to be able to be there for her. There's a possibility of a family wedding this coming summer. On the west coast. I need to be able to travel. Then there's a LLL Alumnae trip to New Orleans in November that I plan to go on.
Nick wants to travel. How can we plan? Will I be needed somewhere? Will I be physically able to travel? Do I want to travel?
Our house in Reston has not sold yet. It is a bit of a financial burden since we are still paying utilities and a mortgage. And we have to maintain it so it is presentable to potential buyers.
We worry about our adult children. Wanting to launch and launching are not the same thing- and both are hard. Caring and worrying are exhausting.
I want to be able to do the domestic things I enjoy. I have a great room in the basement in this new house. It is my sewing/ crafting/ computing room. But it is not ready to use yet. I do a bit of unpacking every few days. My new/ updated computer is at my nephew's house. He did a lot of work on it and we have not been able to coordinate getting it to me.
I am exhausted. I want to have time to do nothing but house stuff. I feel like I go out every day.
I do physical therapy, LLL, Weight Watchers, see my sister when I can. All good and necessary but every time I do an activity it takes energy.
Today I had an MRI. Another multi hour activity.
Oh yeah, I need to make an appointment for Buddy the dog to have his nails clipped. I've been saying that for months now.
And so it goes.