Friday, December 20, 2013

Almost Christmas

It's 54 degrees outside and it is almost Christmas.  We have had Christmas north of the Arctic Circle, where it was dark and snowy, we have had Christmas south of the equator where it was sunny and hot and we went to the beach.  We've had Christmas all over the world with no kids at first, then more and more kids.  When we got to five kids, they only stayed  home for a short while, then they have slowly drifted off to make their own lives.

We have never spent a Christmas with no kids since we became parents, and I hope we never do.  But I guess anything can happen.

I have been excitedly anticipating what it would be like to have all of my adult children home at the same time.  And I have been worrying about it.   I never really had a home to go back to once we were married.  My mom had a place and my dad had a place.  But neither of them felt like "home".   Nick had a home, where he grew up.  His parent's house, which was my home too in many ways.

So, I wonder if it is hard to walk through your childhood door and not feel like a child again.  I want so much not to make my kids feel like they are "kids" in the sense of me being their authoritative mother/ parent person.  I am not sure what the words are that i am looking for here.   I don't want to say anything that makes anyone feel like I am talking down to them.  I don't want the kids hear me in a way that makes them feel in any way diminished.   I am so happy to have them around.  I am so full of awe at the wonderful people they are and are becoming.  I love them and am in love with them.  I know that a thoughtless word from me, their mother, can hurt in a way nobody else's word can.

So I ask questions.  I learn.  I soak it all in.  The presence of  my babies (there I said it), all grown into these adults that I am happy to know.

Chance drove up from Richmond yesterday, arriving in the afternoon.  Morgan arrived a little bit after 7:00 pm.   Courtney arrived this afternoon.  Darcy is driving up from North Carolina tomorrow.    Austin had some time off from work, so he can be with everyone.

Courtney is in her old bedroom.  Morgan is in Chance's old bedroom and Chance is in Morgan's.   Austin is in his room, and Darcy will be in his old room.  It must feel strange and familiar to them all.

It is all so different than when they were an everyday, all day part of my life, and Nick's.   So much drama has taken place in this house.  And much joy and laughter and all around silliness.

And now, I am going to go to bed!

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