Here I am again

Boy have I been having a rough time health wise for the last few weeks.  My sister and I returned from a cruise on January 25th, and I have been sick ever since.   I started out with sore legs and a sinus infection right after the cruise.  I just assumed that my lags were sore from walking on the ship when the water was rough.  But that soreness/ pain continues.

The antibiotic for my sinus infection caused my muscles to all ache and hurt.  And my joints too.  My knees, elbows, shoulders and hands all hurt.  My knees are uncomfortable enough that when I walk I go as slow as I can.   Also, my eyes are bright red, itch and are dry.  Drops help the discomfort, but

not the redness. 

I got tested for the Zika virus since we were close the the areas where the breakouts are.  I know it is very unlikely that I have Zika, but I am known for collecting exotic medical stuff.

I have not been to the gym since getting back.  I am just too stiff and sore.  My skin, especially on my legs, feels tight like A sausage wrapper.  Now that's not something I ever thought I would say, or experience!

And then there' my new friend and constant companion;  high blood pressure.  What!  I have had very low blood pressure forever and now suddenly it is high?  Maybe it will return to normal if I ever do.

It snowed in the night, and though it was not a whole lot, it was a beautiful sight to wake up to.   Snow is just so pretty!

Test post

I made some really short videos of birds in our back yard.  I am testing to see if I can post videos.

It looks like I don't have it figured out yet.  But I will leave this here anyway in case a video fairy comes along and makes it work!

The snow has mostly melted

The snow that kept us an extra day on our cruise seems to have all but melted.  It is still piled up in nasty, dirt piles in parking lots, but that's about it.  There is some talk of more snow this coming week.   I am okay with that.  I like snow.  And, now that we don't have little kids, or any kids, living at home, "snow day" doesn't mean much of anything any more.

I have not written much because I have been feeling lousy.  And who wants to read about someone feeling lousy.  We can each keep our lousiness to ourselves.  I guess.

While I was gone and the snow was piling up, Nick put a stick outside to measure the depth of the snow.  I took several pictures, starting with the day I got home.  Here they are:

January 25, 2016 16"

Melted February 5, 2016

I went on a cruise

I went on a cruise with my sister.  We had a great time.  I took over 300 pictures.  The cruise was delayed in returning by one day because of a blizzard.  The Baltimore Harbor was closed.

We got home Monday January 25th instead of the 24th.    I started getting sick just after we got home.

I saw the doctor yesterday.  I have a sinus infection.    Started antibiotics and I am starting to feel better and getting my voice back.  Now I just have to figure out where I left my energy!

I am going to attempt to post a few pictures here (from the cruise)

Key Lime Pie in Key West

We could see the resort Atlantis from our ship.  We didn't go there.

Arriving in Snowy Baltimore

Where is home?

Gray hair happens

Nick and I have way more gray than not in our hair.   For Christmas, I got some "shampoo for gray hair".  

Today I decided to give it a try.   I don't see any difference, do you?  

2016

My friend Amaarah and her twins.  They are 10 years old now!

Resolutions.   People make them at this time of year as they look optimistically into the brand new years.  I have never been one for declaring resolutions out loud.  But I am always resolving to do something new, something better, finish my unfinished projects.

I write notes to myself.  I make little bullet points just before each notation.  I find it helps me remember what I need to get done- such as things that have a deadline.  And it reminds me of the things I want to work on because I have started them and not finished them.  Oh so many things I have started.  Sewing projects.  Knitting projects.  Sorting, filing and scrap booking photographs.  Getting enough sleep.   Cleaning house.

Of course, I stay up later than I planned to- like tonight.  Then I am tired in the morning.  Then I promise myself that I will take a nap and then I don't.

I get up and get the coffee started before taking the dog out.  Put the kettle on to boil.  Depending on how badly Buddy need to get out, I may grind the coffee before taking him out.   I make the coffee.  Or Nick does if he's up first.  I have my coffee with a little cup of yogurt.  I turn on the TV and my computer.  I learn what is on in the wider world on the big screen and what's new in my world on the small screen of my laptop.     I play solitaire on my phone.  Sometimes I am in my pajamas into the afternoon.    It is comfortable and relaxing.  But the guilt always seeps in.  Feeling guilty for not "doing anything".  I am not bored usually.  Just sedentary.   Quiet.  Content.  Relaxed.  As long as I can keep the guilt away.

When I was in elementary school, I was like this- minus the pajamas in the middle of the day.  I was content to let my mind wander.  I could stare out the windows all day.  I would half listen to the teacher teaching us about the rain forests of the Amazon.  I ask "what's the difference between a forest and a jungle?".  I am told that if I had been paying attenti9on I would know the difference.  But even now, even when I am interested and paying attention, there are too many thoughts flying around in there- in my head- to fully take in what is presented in front of me.   I have questions.  I want to really understand.   I want to know why.  I want to know if there is more than one way to get to a goal. 

And I guess when I write my lists, I am writing down my goals.  And I get them done.  Mostly.

I feel very depleted of energy right now.  I am happy to sit.  But then, when I do something, I feel more energy.  That's why I go to the gym.   I force myself to, at least twice a week, use my body to try to be healthier.   When I go visit a new mom and baby, I usually feel energized by it.  New moms are so beautiful and I think it is partly because they don't feel beautiful.   The hair pulled back in a pony tail.  No make up.  Sleepy faced moms, often in their pajamas.   First time moms who are overwhelmed with the responsibility and the love that hits so hard it takes you breath away.    I tell them it is okay to cry.   I tell them that their milk will flow with their tears.   I don't know if there is any science to back that up, but I know that I believe it in my heart.

Me and each of my babies, nursing

In some ways I am a grandmother/ mother figure.  I rub shoulders and look for curled toes- a sign that something hurts and mom is denying it.  I really care about every singe mom and baby I meet.  Some moms need a hug from me before I leave them   They feel the same connection with me that I feel with them.

It is always amazing to see these beautiful new moms when they venture out of the house and come to meet with other new moms.  We meet at Starbucks and I honestly often recognize these women.  They are in clothes and make up and have maybe even had a chance to wash their hair.   Some are tired or stressed out frustrated.  I offer what information I have.  But the best thing, to me, is how all of the mothers really reach out and help each other.  We have our own little village that is constantly changing as babies get more mobile, these new friends arrange play-dates.  And as they start to fade, new moms come in.


On that note, I will say good night.