I know that I can be annoying and embarrassing to my kids. Not as much as when they were younger and living at home and being dependent.
But here's the thing. The way I feel about my kids- it's so deep, it's on a cellular level if not more (is that possible?).
My love is so deep and scary it overwhelms me sometimes.
I know that they are all adults now. I also know, from my own experience as an adult child, how hard it can be to appreciate your mother. It's so hard to be objective. It's impossible actually. So when I casually say something that I might say to anyone, my kids can easily see it as a criticism, or a lack of understating.
And as the "adult" here, I should be able to take whatever my kids dish out and keep on going. But I am always surprised how deeply it hurts sometimes. And other times I am so happy and proud that I feel like maybe I had some part in it.
I guess you never are completely a grown up, child or parents. It's complicated.
I feel every disappointment and hurt and frustration. Sometimes I feel like it's all my fault. Or my job to make it better. Like when they were little and I could kiss it and make it better.
Love is so complicated.