The last couple of days have been emotionally terrible. Shootings in Connecticut. Small children and teachers. I don't want to talk about it with anybody. I don't want to argue about gun laws. Or God in the schools. I just want to be sad for a while.
I am so amazingly lucky, blessed if you use that word, to have five wonderful, healthy, kind, smart adult children. I will be doubly blessed if they all outlive me. They just have to. That's all there is to it.
I wrote on Facebook that I really wanted to go to church today because of the shootings, I really did not want to be around all of the people and to hear people talking about it. It's not taboo. In fact I wish everyone would speak more openly and honestly. I just needed today to have my thoughts all to myself.
It's times like this that I wish I could believe in God and heaven. I understand the comfort that it brings to have faith. My faith is different. I have faith in the goodness in most peoples hearts. I have faith that when I plant a seed it will grow. That the day will follow the night and then the night will follow the day.
Now I need to stop thinking and let my brain and body rest so I can get up and worry another day.