Sunday, December 16, 2012

Hi, it's me again

The last couple of days have been emotionally terrible.  Shootings in Connecticut.   Small children and teachers.   I don't want to talk about it with anybody.   I don't want to argue about gun laws.  Or God in the schools.   I just want to be sad for a while.

I am so amazingly lucky, blessed if you use that word, to have five wonderful, healthy, kind, smart adult children.    I will be doubly blessed if they all outlive me.  They just have to. That's all there is to it.

I wrote on Facebook that I really wanted to go to church today because of the shootings, I really did not want to be around all of the people and to hear people talking about it.  It's not taboo.  In fact I wish everyone would speak more openly and honestly.    I just needed today to have my thoughts all to myself.

It's times like this that I wish I could believe in God and heaven.  I understand the comfort that it brings to have faith.   My faith is different.   I have faith in the goodness in most peoples hearts.  I have faith that when I plant a seed it will grow.  That the day will follow the night and then the night will follow the day. 

Now I need to stop thinking and let my brain and body rest so I can get up and worry another day.

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