2022 Christmas Card

 

Dreams

 Dreams are so strange. They are never planned and usually the content of a dream is unexpected.

Last night I dreamed about my Grandma Thompsen.  We talked and joked and she was so alive.  My sister was there as well.   We askedher about her life. Where she lived and how about her siblings and their families.    

I wonder if either of my Norwegian grandparents had ever even met the other one's family.  I know that my grandmother's sister was in Oregon, my Tanta Lina.  So they spent time with her.  But what about my mysterious grandfather?   Nobody ever talked about him at all.  It's strange.  The relatives we know in Norway, and from Norway are almost all from my grandfather's side.

I am sure that what got me dreaming about my grandmother is the document I ofund on Ancestry.com.  I got their marriage certifiate.  It doesn't really say a whole lot- in fact nothing about the two people getting married asided from their age and where they were from.

No matter how grown up, my children will always be my babies

I wrote this five days ago on Facebook;

My daughter Courtney Sherwood had surgery today to remove her thyroid because she had thyroid cancer.

Here's the report from her doctor. I am so relieved (as is the whole family)

My Courtney

Impressions- about feeding babies

 We bought our house in Virginia in 1983.   We knew we would be there for one year before renting it out.  And we knew we would be returning to that house, our home.

For the year we first lived there, I was very active with the local La Leche Leage groups.   I got to know a lot of LLL folks.

It was not surprising then, when we returned to Virginia in 1986, that I was invited to be a LLL Leader for a local group.   I remember going to lead at a local group- where I didn't know anyone (yet).    Everyone made their introductions and made a comment about how breastfeeding was going for them. 

We used to meet in people's homes. When it got to be the hostesses turn, she started crying and said she had to switch to bottle feeding because her baby was not gaining weight.    She was devistated.  She had attended LLL meetings all through her pregnancy.   She loved La Leche League.

I lost sleep thinking about this mom.  She and I spoke on the phone (a lot).  I decided to invite her to keep attanding LLL meetings.  She held her baby in a nursing position when she fed her.  She practiced attachement parenting.   She was one of the "League moms".

By the time this mom had her second baby, she was commited to try breastfeeding again.  This time, it worked out as she had hoped.  The baby was fussy and needed to be held a lot.  But breastfeeding worked.

The mom and I became the best of friends.   I invited her to become a LLL Leader, which she did.   

Our family went overseas again, but we kept in touch by email and even phone calls from time to time.

My family went to China, and, while there, pregnant with my fifth child, I gave birth two months early.

I retuned to the States with my failure to thrive preemie and my three year old.  My dear friend was there at the airport with some other of my LLL friends, to meet me.

Meanwhile, my friend had given birth to her third baby.  She was doing great.  Nursing was going well.

My preemie was not doing so well.  We realized that he needed to be supplemented.  I tried giving him formula- which I did NOT want to do.  But he needed to eat.  The formula made him sick.   

I asked my friend if she would be able and willing to share her breastmilk with my baby.  She and one other friend happly pumped their breastmilk and I was able to feed my baby and get him strong and healthy.

I was using a technique called "finger feeding" where I would put the supplemental milk into a periodontal syringe and when he sucked on my finger, I would deliver milk to him.  It was challenging at best.   

One night when I was completely exhausted, I put the breastmilk into a baby bottle and gave it to my son.  I was so conflicted.  I hated using a baby bottle and was sad that I was not about to completely feed him at the breast.  On the other hand, I was relieved that he was getting the food he needed in order to grow healthy.

I pumped my own milk and supplemented with donor milk from my two wonderful friends.   I often had to bottle feed the baby in public.  

I was reminded of all of the times I had judged moms for bottlefeeding in public.  I grew to understand that, while I know that breastfeeding is the best way to feed a baby, I do not know what is being fed in those bottles.  Nor do I know how the mom came to be a bottle feeding mother.    Maybe she was not interested in breastfeeding from the start.  Maybe she had difficulties, maybe it was her milk or donor milk in the bottle.  Or maybe she was the aunt, cousin, babysitter...

We are all so hard on ourselves.  But we are also too quick to judge others without knowing the whole story.

I am posting a picture here that I tried to share on a LLL page.  Many of the readers of the page were happy to see the post about acceptance.  But there were bitter complaints as well.

No, La Leche League is not a bottlefeeding support group.  We do not endorse bottle feeding.   But, while a picture tells a thousand stories, we cannot know what all of the stories are.

The Saturday after Thanksgiving

 I am sooo tired!   This year, Thanksgiving didn't feel as stressful as it has in the past.  I think that is partly because it was just family here and I was not really trying to impress anyone.   Everything went smoothly.   Food was good.  There were some minor flaws- like trying to make dinner rolls out of a pizza crust mix.   Not having a variety of salad dressings.  Just not really worrying.

I have been, however, worried about Courtney.   She had her thyroid removed to hopefully remove all of the cancer in her thyroid.   We were kept in the loop by Zach (Courtney's boyfriend) and Jenny, Zach's mother.  I am so appreciative of their support and love of Courtney, and also staying in touch with us.

Zach posted a silly picture of Courtney, post surgery, that I will post here:

Thanksgiving 2022

The "real" turkey turned out beautiful and delicious.   Austin was happy with his vegan version of turkey too.

I was happy to see Darcy and Jody and her kids.  The kids have grown since I last saw them, and Sebastian is now 13, and his voice is changing.   I had forgotten about that- all of my sons have men's voices now but they didn't always.

Courtney called to wish us a Happy Thanksgiving.  She said that Jenny, Zach's mom, came to Courtney and Zach's house and cooked dinner for them.   I am so grateful that she can stand in for me.

Jenny is going to the hospital with Courtney and Zach tomorrow.  Courtney is having her thyroid removed.   I am sorry I won't be there for Courtney, but I have to tell myself that everything will be fine.

Okay, another piece of pumpkin pie and then off to bed.

It's Thanksgiving again

 I think I try to write something profound on Thanksgiving every year.  Why should this year be any different?  

We bought a turkey that was labeled "12 lb.", but it looked much larger.   Nick weighed it using our luggage scale and found that the turkey is in fact just over 22 lb.  

Luggage scale 

Big difference.  All of the turkeys in the bin said 12 lb.   Maybe that was so they would all sell.  Or maybe the labeling machine was malfunctioning.   Either way, it makes a big difference in how long the bird needs to cook.

The turkey is now in the oven.  It has a shroud.   I learned this from my sister;  melt a pound of butter in a sauce pan.  Put in a big piece of cheesecloth and let it soak up the butter.  Then drape the cheesecloth over  the turkey- pouring any remaining butter over the turkey.  It makes for a delicious and beautiful turkey.

turkey with shroud 

I could not remember where we had put the big, blue roasting pan.  I honestly thought I would have to run out and buy a disposable on so I could cook the turkey.  Then, this morning I looked one more place- under the shelves back in a corner in the pantry!   

Hurray for Grandma Sherwood's old, blue, roasting pan!

We will have gluten free stuffing, vegan stuffing, gluten free pumpkin pie and vegan pumpkin pie.

The house is starting to smell good!  I am going to put my feet up for a while!