Baby love

First born, Courtney & Me 1978

 I was so thrilled when Courtney was born. I was thrilled each time I learned that I was pregnant and so happy with each of my babies.  

I know that the kids have heard me say that they were all planned and wanted.   I don't know if that meant anything to them or if they just thought "okay there goes Mom again".   I am sure I have repeated many things.  It's part of living and loving.  Sharing thoughts and experiences.   

Each birth was different and I remember the details.   I am not 100% sure I recall everything correctly as they happened, but I recall MY memories and feelings.   

There was fear, anxiety, wonder, joy, pain.   

And now they are all out of the house.  There's that whole poem about giving them roots and wings.  I love and respect them and their choices.   I know that they are all adults and have their own lives to lead.   I know that I cannot be their life blood any more.  

I wonder if they realize how much they were dependent on me and on my body for life and sustenance.     Maybe that is why they are so independent.  They had a strong bond and strong footing.

And now I have to sit back, bite my tongue and let them fly.