It's early Thursday morning Virginia time. Nick will be home from Afghanistan early this Sunday morning, also Virginia time. I have had some terribly anxious moments since he left. It is not a safe place. There are people willing to blow themselves up for their cause. I will never understand that kind of cause I suppose, but the passion it stirs in those to feel that way, and is beyond my comprehension and makes perfect sense to them.
Under "normal" circumstances, I don't sleep well. Or, I should say, I don't go to bed and fall asleep well. Once I get to sleep, I'm fine. But getting there is my challenge.
I had all sorts of plans and ideas of what I would do differently with Nick gone. First off, I would get to bed by, say 10:00 every night. Never did before, but I was going to somehow make it work. Then, I would be awake early in the morning and full of energy. I would take the dog for a walk in the morning, before the bugs and the heat come. I would join (re-join) Weight Watchers and eat well get healthy. I would get to the gym at least three times a week.
Ok, I got to the gym. Yes, that I did. Then I developed thrush in my mouth and was in so much pain I didn't know what to do. Two mouthwash prescriptions later, that seems to be better. And then, I broke my ankle. I mean really broke it. At first it was misdiagnosed, but when the pain and swelling got worse instead of better, I sought a second opinion. So now I have to wear this stupid boot. It is hot and heavy and black. But, it keeps my ankle immobilized enough to help it heal and keep it from hurting too much. I take it off and let my skin breath. I walk on the foot some, but it always starts to hurt again.
I wanted to clean the garage. I wanted to organize the basement. I planned to garden in my patch and in Nick's garden plot. I really should be studying for the lactation re-certification exam.
I haven't even gotten as much knitting done as I had hoped.
Truth be told, even if I hadn't broken my ankle I might not have gotten any of those things done anyway. So I should feel good that at least, this time, I have an excuse!
Chance is in Beijing, learning new sights and sounds and smells. It's not just the way people talk that's different. He will learn that people speak their culture in their body language. And in their reactions to their surroundings. Chance goes into this with his own conceptions of how everyone does things and he will see, that isn't necessarily true.
Last week we had Ludvig, the kids' third cousin from Norway. he was on the start of his own journey with his expectations of what America was. But, I think that there are more similarities between Norway and us as opposed to us and China. By "us" I just mean our family- not all of America.
Courtney is in Oregon. America, yes, but different than Northern Virginia. Morgan is out west too. Living in his truck with his cats and not a whole lot else.
Darcy and Hannah are in North Carolina. We have been to their house, so I can picture them at home. I don't feel like I am a big part of their life right now. But that's the way it is. You nurse, you toddle, you walk, you run, you grow and grow and get into braces and get out of braces. And you find yourself an adult. And off you go and don't look back. At least, not for another 15 or 20 years.
Austin is still at home, but he is branching out. He is so smart and can be so helpful and kind. His mind is always moving and thinking and coming up with ideas that matter. He is a very moral man.
He is moving at his own pace. I wish all of us could do that.
So, now I have to make my bed and content myself with the company of Buddy the dog and Pooh the cat, and the other cats too if they care to join us.
And on Sunday I will have mu husband to snuggle with and to fall asleep with, my head on his shoulder.
So much to look forward to.