Portland

Sitting on Courtney's front porch enjoying a cool morning breeze in my pajamas.  Listening to the cars go by. Feeling relaxed.

I flew in almost a week ago to attend an ILCA Conference.  It has been amazing to be with so many like minded people.  Not like a La Leche League Conference because this is for lactation "professionals: and La Leche League Leaders are the "non professional" experts.

I met with long time LLL friends and met with lactation professionals who knew very little about LLL at all.   I kept busy, Attended lots of workshops.  Learned new things.  Slept through some stuff because I think my brain just couldn't take it all in.  And some of the speakers had such mellow voices that I was tranquilized.

I felt sad, angry and lonely some (much) of the time because I was attending alone, and couldn't figure out how to connect for meals and get togethers.  There might have been a virtual bulletin board, but I didn't know where or if it existed.   So I ate my breakfasts and dinners alone.   It's okay.  Really.  Just frustrating.

I also felt at times that my brain has just not totally recovered from brain surgery.  I tire so easily.

On the brighter side, the steroid shots I got in my knees before heading west really helped.

Before I got these shots I couldn't walk from one end of the house to

the other without great effort.  Now, I am not ready for a marathon (but I never have been), I can walk and enjoy myself

I stayed in a Hilton Hotel with a beautiful view of the city by day and night.

In the past when I have come to Portland I have felt this terrific emotional draw.  This is the city where I was born.  I felt that this was my real home, my roots.     I imagined my parents here and wondered what they would think of it now.  especially my mom.  She hasn't been here since the 60s.   Now, my parents are both gone.  Not even buried here.  My daughter has her own house.    I don't have that same tugging.  I don't know if there is any logic to why I felt that way before, or how I feel now.  Or even how I will feel on another day.

Maybe in part it's because Nick and I have a new house that will be our home for as long as we can take care of it.  And the new home we have doesn't have any ghosts.  It is brand new.  We are the first and only people to have lived in it.  Us and our dog Buddy.    I have never been pregnant or nursed a baby in the new house.  Nick and I are in a really good place in our lives.  We really like each other and love each other and share laughs and sorrows.  We are two very individual, independent interdependent people.

My one really kind of surreal conference experience was the realization that the Thai doctor attending the conference was the same doctor who, 40 years ago, in the hospital nursery in Bangkok, cheered support when I was pumping colostrum for my sick newborn, Courtney.   I didn't say anything to the doctor.  I didn't want to break the spell.  But, she cannot imagine how she impacted my life, and in turn the many many moms and babies I have helped.  Karma is real.

 

It;s getting real!

 

Sleeping in Aldie

Tonight, Nick and Buddy and I are spending the night in our new house in Aldie, Virginia.  Kind of cool since I had never even seen it after dark before.

It is a very large house with a very small amount of furniture   There is one bed- a king size one- in the downstairs guest room.

We sat on the deck this evening and enjoyed the dark night and all the stars we can see.

First world problems, but they stress me nonetheless

Here's a recap. We put money down on our new house in February. Since the house was being used as a model home and office for the builders, we knew we wouldn't be able to move in until late June.

Meanwhile, we hired a realtor to help us "stage" our current house in Reston so we could put it on the market.

We have put about half of our furniture into storage with a storage and moving company.  Nick rented a storage locker to put the rest of our "stuff" in to.  We have tossed around three truck loads of stuff- old broken deck chairs, thousands of books and who knows what else.

So much to go through.   What should we keep.  What should we donate?  What should we toss.   And of course, no help but each other.  I should say Nick actually since he has done most of the physical work.  There was a time when I would have helped, but I just cannot now. I am in almost constant pain from the arthritis in my knees.   We couldn't hire anyone to help because all of this is our stuff.  Personal decisions need to be made.

There are boxes with five children's worth of report cards, school work, drawings, stories.   School pictures.   What should I save, what should I discard.     There was also a completely full, large Rubbermaid bin full of my college notes.  Why on earth did I save that stuff.  (I guess I was so pleased with myself that I actually finished college that I wanted to save proof of how hard I worked).   I tossed all of that.

Nick carried everything upstairs and either took it to our storage locker or threw it out.  Well, most of it.  At one point it was so overwhelming that we had the Got Junk people haul the trash up from the basement and out of the garage as well.

This next picture was taken after Nick has started to move things out of the storage locker, put them into a rental truck, and drive to the new house 30 minutes away.

  The weather was really hot with a heat index of over 100 degrees.  I was really worried about Nick.  In fact, at one point Nick called me to pick him up because he needed a break, a nap, shower, food and water.  Then he went back to work.

We might have been able to hire some day workers, but I'm not sure that would have worked.  What do you do with them when you need a break.   How do you tell them what to put where when it's all personal, family stuff.









So, Nick put everything into the garage in the new house.  By himself.  Everything still needs to be moved into the house.  The boxes are clearly marked "basement bedroom", "Master bedroom'  Kitchen"   At least now the new house is ours, so we can take our time.  Not that we enjoy having a garage full of stuff.

We weren't able to spend the night at the new house because the air conditioning in the main floor master (guest room) wasn't working.  When we bought the house, even though it was a model home, it didn't come with furniture.  I arranged to but some of the furniture.  But not much.  All of the other rooms in the house are empty and will be until we sell the old house- then we can move our stuff to the new house.

we did it!

Today Nick and I signed the papers and got the keys to our new house.  We now own two houses. How did that happen?

We had thought of spending the night in the new house, but we didn't.  An appointment I thought that I had scheduled for next Friday was actually today.  That and the fact that the closing was changed from this morning to this afternoon made us decide to stay home tonight.

Actually, after coming home- to Reston- I stayed home with Buddy and Nick went back to take some tings to the new house.

Buddy is a pretty neurotic dog anyway, but he has been really stressed lately with all of the comings and goings- electricians, painters, roofers.  Nick gone for five weeks.  I was tired and wanted to rest.  We decided that Buddy would appreciate some time at home with one of us.  Tomorrow we will take him to his new home.  And ours.

There's not much furniture in the house. It was a furnished model home when we decided to buy it.  I bought some of the pieces that just seemed to fit.  So we have a place to sit in the sun room off the kitchen.  Also a kitchen table and chairs.  We got all of the furniture in the main floor master bedroom, and some of the furniture in the basement family room.

We are leaving much of our furniture in the Reston house for the time being so we can show it to sell.

So many feelings.  It doesn't seem like we really own a new house.  We have moved and lived all over the world.  We've had homes in each place we've lived.  Some nicer than others.  But each home we lived in overseas we knew was temporary.  We have always had this house in Reston, to come home to.

I remember having the kids say goodbye to their rooms and to the house whenever we moved away.  Now we, the grown ups, the parents, have to say goodbye.

That assumes the house actually sells.

Not the most exciting or insightful blog post of mine.  But, it is what it is.

Oh, and it's just over seven months since I had brain surgery.

Where did the last two months go?

I was just checking in and see that I haven't posted anything here since March, and now it's the end of May.

Well, in April, the ,movers came to give us an estimate.  Then the house inspector to tell us what needs to be attended to.  I  Went to the orthodontist for a braces check.  Actually I have invisalign braces.  Yes I am getting my teeth straightened again.  I had braces as a teen and now I feel that I need them again.

I got an estimate on getting a new roof, painting the interior of the house,  repairing the deck and also the windows that need fixing.  Now, mind you, all of these things have needed to be done for a while.  But, since we are hoping to sell this house, we are now doing everything.   I guess that's what you do when you sell your house.

Nick and Austin went on a cruise across the Atlantic Ocean and then to the UK on a Beatles tour and other great stuff.

Had the sunken front step and the driveway repaired.  Got carpet installed.  Had to appear for jury duty- I didn't get called to be on a jury, but got paid $30.00.  I spoke about breastfeeding at "Love your baby day"

Had a bladder infection and was on antibiotics.  Follow up after the antibiotics found me with chest pain and six or seven hours in the ER.  Followed by more doctor visits and a day full of  cardiac tests.

Oh yeah, the other day I had a laser procedure on my right eye to zap the "floaters" that came after my brain surgery.

In between those things, I was feted for my birthday, first by my sister and her granddaughters, them with my women's group.

The weekly breastfeeding cafe' drop in gatherings at Starbucks  continue on Tuesdays.  I missed a few times because of various medical things.

There's been rain rain rain this month.  Fortunately, there has been no water in the basement.  Austin's cat, "Cat", is staying with us while the traveling is going on.

Nick got home yesterday.  Minus his and Austin's luggage.   Austin has gone on to Norway for a week.

A part of me knows that I would have really enjoyed the traveling that  Nick and Austin have done for the last five weeks.  But, I have enjoyed the emails and pictures and hearing about the things seen, done and experienced.    How often does a father get to spend time like that with his adult child.

Courtney has bought a new house in Portland, Oregon.  Morgan has bought a piece of land in California.   Darcy and Jody are in Portland, Austin and Chance's residences are in Richmond.

Whew.  I feel like I just wrote a Christmas letter!

Today we went to our new house to pick out some of the furniture we want to buy (it's a furnished, model home).  It's funny to see the house we will live in soon and then come home to our current house.

Now to watch Judge Judy and think about what to fix for dinner,

I guess we are really moving!

I lose sleep thinking about moving out of this house and into a new, huge house.   Of course, I lose sleep about everything!

I make lists and follow through.  Painter lined up?  check.    Carpet lined up.  check.  Inspection lined up.  check.

Packing stuff to unpack on the other end.  Putting things into a storage locker so we can "depersonalize" the house.  So someone looking at it can picture themselves having a life here.

Nick rented a storage locker, and yesterday he showed it to me.  We put a few things in it, and he is there right now putting more boxed and "stuff" into it .

Nick is putting something into the corner. 

I have been emptying my shelves of books and packing them up (to go into the storage locker).