This picture of Nick's dad, Grandpa Sherwood and his granddaughter Kathy. I am guessing that this was taken in 1983
This picture of Nick's dad, Grandpa Sherwood and his granddaughter Kathy. I am guessing that this was taken in 1983
In my last entry to my blog I reflected on the bad side of the holiday season.
I have reflected on this and realized that there are good things about the holidays too.
This year we are celebrating Thanksgiving twice. Last week, Austin was here from Maine. We had a combination vegan and non vegan Thanksgiving dinner.
Nick and I plus Austin, Chance and girlfriend Jamie were here as well as sister in law Janet and niece Molly.
It was so nice to share a meal and more importantly contact with some of the important people in our lives. I really wanted my sister, Carol to join us but she was not feeling well enough.
This coming weekend we are celebration again. Darcy and Jody and their baby, our grandson, Galileo will be here. We will be celebrating on the Saturday after Thanksgiving.
I am not 100% sure who will be able to make it. I am hoping my sister and nephews Tom and Jim plus Jim's wife Catherine. Janet and Molly say that they are planning to come. Maybe Chance and Jamey again.
There will be another turkey and more pumpkin pie. The main course of course will be chaos and love!
I am trying to add pictures here but keep getting an error message. I'll try again later
Hey, it worked!!!
I always feel somewhat melancholy at this time of the year. If I look back to my blog in years past I bet I have written the same things every year. I feel these things every year in various degrees.
The days get shorter and darkness comes earlier. We set out clocks back so it gets to be night time even earlier.
And I know that the shorter periods of daylight have an effect on me. But it's also "the holidays". The sense of having to do things- obligations. Expectations. Mainly my expectations.
My childhood Christmases were fraught for lack of a better word. I was excited and couldn't wait to see what Santa put under the tree. Finding an orange in my Christmas socking and laughing about it. We carried that over with our kids and they always laughed too.
But my sadness comes from the tension, and anger. At Thanksgiving I will always think of the year my dad reached across the table and punched my brother in the face. That was the year that Carol was newly married and was having her Thanksgiving with the in-laws. I cooked the turkey and I guess I overcooked it. My brother looks at the dark brown turkey and said "I'm not eating that". And my dad punched him. And I went running out of the apartment across the street to where my sister and her in laws were having their dinner.
When we were first married and both of my parents, divorced from each other we had to make the rounds. My dad was re-married, so we had to go to Daddy and Becky's, then my mom, then my sister and her family, than Nick's parents house and then ultimately back to our house in College park .
Last year we had all five "kids" here for Christmas plus grand-baby Galileo. It was both wonderful and stressful. It is a rare occasion that all five of my children are at the same place at the same time!
This year, Courtney and Zach are staying home in Portland, OR. Morgan and Kim are staying in Seattle. Darcy and Jody and Galileo are staying home in North Carolina. I am assuming Chance and his girlfriend Jamie will come here. I hope Austin comes too- I hate to think of him alone in Maine- although who knows maybe he will meet someone he wants to spend Christmas with!
I guess, what the kids are all young and living at home, it's not like they have a choice where they will be for the holidays. They are part and parcel of the house and home. But now they are all spread around the country. They have their adult homes and their adult friends. I know that they all love us. But they are not ours exactly.
I have already had our Christmas cards made, and the family calendars. Now I just have to write a Christmas letter and work on the every confusing address labels.
I watched an episode of the PBS show "Finding Your Roots" It usually has celebrities who are learning about their genealogical roots. Often with some surprises. The particular episode I watched today had some "regular" non famous people. Even so it was very interesting to see them learn things about their families that they had not known.
It got me thinking about our grandson, Galileo. I have only thought about his roots a short way back, but I still find it interesting how this little boy came about because of the people who came before.
Nick and Nancy Sherwood are the paternal grandparents.
Darcy Sherwood and Jody Vasquez are Galileo's parents
And, here's the little man, a Halloween Pumpkin, Galileo B. Sherwood!!
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| Friends for life! |
In June we attended a demonstration called "No Kings Day" Then, this month there was another "No Kings Day". We attended this one today. There were probably twice as many people as the last one.
The rhetoric from the Republicans had me a bit worried that there might be some safety/ security concerns. I considered leaving all jewelry at home. I wore my medic alert bracelet. But alas, all was calm. There was energy, but it peaceful energy.
There was music starting off with the Star Spangled Banner. What a great way to start everything. We were/ are a peaceful bunch of people who just want to see our country turn around and stop the corruption of the current administration before he (Trump) destroys our democracy.
Nick and I went to Michael's and bought blank white t-shirts and some iron-on transfer sheets. Then we had to figure out how to print the things we wanted and make them come out the right way instead of backward. They came out pretty nice, I think!
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| Back of Nick's shirt |

Nancy with Charlie to my right
The dream song is a song from the Disney movie Cinderella.
But I think it works as a sort of bucket/ wish list song too.
I am so often dreaming- day dreaming that is, about what I wish I could do. Or want to do.
When we had a houseful of kids my life was full of laundry, cleaning house, taking someone/ everyone somewhere. Dentist appointments and later the orthodontist. Doctor appointments for well visits sometimes and more likely sick visits. School activities. Band. Sports. Friends houses. Visiting my friends for coffee and play groups
Easter egg hunts! And visits to the zoo!
The kid's friends were often at our house and we would have a mob at the dinner table. And honestly, I mostly enjoyed it. Sometimes, at least in my memories, I loved it.
All five kids accompanied me to La Leche League meetings when they were young and still nursing.
But I am guessing that at least once a day I would wish for some down time. Time to sew or knit or read a book, or watch TV alone. It was a lot!
I am glad that when I remember and when I write about it I am not feeling overwhelmed, but wistful and happy.
All those kids. Busy, bored, unhappy, dirty, demanding and rewarding. All rolled up in one. I wished for kids. Babies. Children who challenged my patience and endurance and intellect too.
I credit La Leche League (LLL) with helping me raise my family, not go crazy, have friends to vent to. And wonderful lifetime friends to grow old with. Besides my husband and my sister, the most meaningful relationships I have are with women I have met through LLL
And now all of the kids are grown and independent and it's just me and Nick and Carol (my sister)
I wonder which of the houses we lived in are still standing? I know that our house in Tromsø is still there and the one in Perth, Western Australia. I think that the house we lived in when we were in Poland is still there. The two homes we had in Thailand, one in Bangkok and actually 2 in Chiang Mai, Thailand are most likely gone. Taiwan and China? Somehow I don't feel the same emotional pull to those homes.
I also, more realistically, want to visit each of the kids in their homes!
Of course the biggest dream, to be a grandmother, did come true!
I have to let go of the person I was
and accept the person I now am.
~ Terese Lux
Let go of the one totally in charge,
the one who had no fear of falling,
of breaking an ankle, a leg, an arm,
or worse—suffer a brain bleed.
Let go of the one skilled at doing,
being successful and productive,
confident and self-possessed,
able to handle most everything.
Let go of the person whose alert brain
easily recalled a name, a description,
details of a story lodged in the past,
and where a precious item was placed.
Let go of having a healthy, active body
ready to obey and serve each command.
Let go of energy once quick and plentiful,
rarely collapsing with utter weariness.
Greet this unwanted stranger’s arrival,
waiting to receive a respectful welcome.
Get to know and accept her new traits;
do not shun, deny, reject or criticize.
Rather, behold with a gaze of kindness
this one still looking over her shoulder
longing to be the woman she once was.
Learn to love and appreciate her now
for she still bears the same loving spirit,
still intends to live with zestful gratitude,
still cherishes what is of utmost value,
still retains a home in Eternity’s Heart.
© Joyce Rupp
I started writing yesterday and for reasons I don't recall, I was writing about swimming. Hence the photos below.
What actually got me started was thinking about when and why I joined the Universal Unitarian (UU) Church of Sterling, Virginia. I actually joined the UU church in Fairfax in 1998. Nick and I had separated and I felt adrift. The State Department was like home for me. I had been going there ever since I was a little kid, when my dad was in the Foreign Service.
Nick and I reconciled, and eventually I stopped attending that congregation. Then the pandemic hit and nobody went anywhere for a while- including church.
We (Nick and I) did attend a different congregation a few years ago, but at the time I was fairly handicapped by my knees and it was not a very accessible church. But I digress.
Ever since Donald Trump became president for a second time, life has been stressful, annoying, frightening and altogether a big scary deal. It feels like every day another liberty is at risk. The rule of law feels like it is slipping away.
And yet, our lives go on. We get up. have coffee. feed the dog and let him go out to go to the bathroom (well, he doesn't ave a "bathroom" but he relieves himself)
Many of the people in my life, both here in the States and abroad express their fears and concerns about what is happening in America and to America.
Hate is such a strong word and a strong feeling. But I find myself experiencing it. I worry. I fantasize about making things change somehow. And yet, I have this glimmer of hope. This love for what the America I love and imagine can be and will be again. (fingers crossed).
And so, I joined the UU church again. I knew that I would find like minded, sympathetic and dare I say, liberal people as I consider myself to be.
As in 1998, when I first attended a UU church, I now feel like I have a church home.
In April of this year, when I was in Maine, I attended the Rockland UU church and loved it!
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Seek, Love, and Serve Boldly
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When I was a kid, ages 7 to at least 15, I used to spend most of my summer days at the pool. I loved swimming. My mom's rule was if it got below 65° outside I was not allowed to swim. Of course, Washington summers rarely got that cool.
I was a Camp Fire Girl and my Indian (Native American) name translated "fish out of water".
Nick and I went to Bali for our R&R when we were living in Bangkok. This was Sanur Beach, Bali 1977
Here I am a a hotel pool in Portland, Oregon July 2019 when we went to Oregon for Morgan and Kim's wedding.
I am used to having a few people read my blog- maybe up to 35 or so. But lately I have noticed hundreds of "views". What the heck?
Thinking of my sweet grandniece Miri who should have turned 15 on September 14th. Gone too soon to Sanfilippo Syndrome
She started out as a completely normal baby and as a toddler she began showing signs of being "different". By the time she died she was not able to walk or talk. But she laughed and gave wonderful hugs
Sanfilippo syndrome is a group of rare genetic conditions that affect several body systems but mainly your child’s nervous system. It happens when their body can’t break down a certain substance, which builds up in cells and damages them. Symptoms of Sanfilippo syndrome begin in early childhood and worsen with time. The main treatment is symptom management.
Sanfilippo syndrome is a group of inherited (genetic) lysosomal storage disorders that mainly affect your child’s central nervous system (brain and spinal cord). It causes a variety of cognitive (mental), behavioral and physical symptoms that get worse over time. These symptoms lead to premature death.
Another name for this condition is mucopolysaccharidosis type III (MPS III).
Sanfilippo syndrome happens when there’s a deficiency in one of four enzymes that affect the breakdown (metabolism) of heparan sulfate. Heparan sulfate is a glycosaminoglycan (also known as a mucopolysaccharide), a complex carbohydrate. Because your child doesn’t have the proper enzyme to break down heparin sulfate, it builds up in their cells, tissues and organs, damaging them.
There are four subtypes of Sanfilippo syndrome: types A, B, C and D. Each subtype results from a deficiency of a different enzyme:
Sanfilippo syndrome is rare. Researchers estimate that it affects 1 person per every 50,000 to 250,000 people. Sanfilippo syndrome type A is the most common subtype globally. Type D is the least common.
MPS III is a mucopolysaccharide disease also known as Sanfilippo syndrome. It takes its name from Dr. Sylvester Sanfilippo, one of the U.S. doctors who described the condition in 1963.
Photo added by Margarite McLeod
Is watching birds different from being a bird watcher? Maybe, I am not sure. And actually, I don't so much "watch" the birds as listen to them. I use an app on my phone called "Merlin" that picks up the bird song and identifies the bird. I do this pretty much every morning. Then I write done what birds I have heard plus the date and the temperature as you can see in my little notebook above.
Is there any purpose in this activity? Nahh, it just feels like I am doing a thing and I like doing it. I wonder if, one day my notebook will be found and someone will think I am a great ornithological genius. Or they might just think "Grandma/ Mom was sure weird"
Every morning unless it's raining, I feed Buddy on the deck. I cannot remember if I did this before we lived in this house. I think I did. It's a nice peaceful time. Buddy eating and me listening to the birds drinking my coffee. Usually in my pajamas and if it's cold, also in my winter coat.
Dear Colleagues,
For three and a half decades as a career diplomat, I walked across the lobby of the State Department countless times—inspired by the Stars and Stripes and humbled by the names of patriots etched into our memorial wall. It was heartbreaking to see so many of you crossing that same lobby in tears following the reduction in force in July, carrying cardboard boxes with family photos and the everyday remains of proud careers in public service. After years of hard jobs in hard places—defusing crises, tending alliances, opening markets, and helping Americans in distress—you deserved better.
The same is true for so many other public servants who have been fired or pushed out in recent months: the remarkable intelligence officers I was proud to lead as CIA director, the senior military officers I worked with every day, the development specialists I served alongside overseas, and too many others with whom we’ve served at home and abroad.
The work you all did was unknown to many Americans, rarely well understood or well appreciated. And under the guise of reform, you all got caught in the crossfire of a retribution campaign—of a war on public service and expertise.
Those of us who have served in public institutions understand that serious reforms are overdue. Of course we should remove bureaucratic hurdles that prevent agencies like the State Department from operating efficiently. But there is a smart way and a dumb way to tackle reform, a humane way and an intentionally traumatizing way.
If today’s process were truly about sensible reform, career officers—who typically rotate roles every few years—wouldn’t have been fired simply because their positions have fallen out of political favor.
If this process were truly about sensible reform, crucial experts in technology or China policy in whom our country has invested so much wouldn’t have been pushed out.
If this process were truly about reform, it would have addressed not only the manifestations of bloat and inefficiencies but also their causes—including congressionally mandated budget items.
And if this process were truly about sensible reform, you and your families wouldn’t have been treated with gleeful indignity. One of your colleagues, a career diplomat, was given just six hours to clear out his office. “When I was expelled from Russia,” he said, “at least Putin gave me six days to leave.”
No, this is not about reform. It is about retribution. It is about breaking people and breaking institutions by sowing fear and mistrust throughout our government. It is about paralyzing public servants—making them apprehensive about what they say, how it might be interpreted, and who might report on them. It is about deterring anyone from daring to speak truth to power.
I served six presidents: three Republicans and three Democrats. It was my duty to faithfully implement their decisions, even when I didn’t agree with them. Career public servants have a profound obligation to execute the decisions of elected leaders, whether we voted for them or not; that discipline is essential to any democratic system.
I could not have done my job as an ambassador, as a deputy secretary of state, or as the CIA director unless my colleagues were straightforward about their views. When I led secret talks with the Iranians more than a decade ago, I needed the unvarnished advice of diplomats and intelligence officers to help me navigate the complex world of nuclear programs and Iranian decision making. I needed colleagues to question my judgment sometimes, and offer creative, hard-nosed solutions.
There is a real danger in punishing dissent—not only to our profession, but to our country. Once you start, policy can become an extension of court politics, with little airing of alternative views or consideration of second- and third-order consequences.
Like some of you, I’m old enough to have lived through other efforts at reform and streamlining. After the end of the Cold War, budgets were cut significantly, and the Arms Control and Disarmament Agency and the U.S. Information Agency were absorbed into the State Department. Years later, when I was serving as the American ambassador in Moscow, we reduced staff by about 15 percent over three years. None of those was a perfect process, but they were conducted in a thoughtful way, respectful of public servants and their expertise.
Long before any of us served in government, amid the escalation of the Cold War, in the 1950s, McCarthyism provided a vivid example of an alternative approach, full of deliberate trauma and casual cruelty. A generation of China specialists was falsely accused of being Communist sympathizers and driven from the State Department, kneecapping American diplomacy toward Beijing for years. Today’s “reform” process—at State and elsewhere across the federal government—bears much more resemblance to McCarthy’s costly excesses than to any other era in which I’ve served. And it’s much more damaging.
We live in a new era—one that is marked by major-power competition and a revolution in technology, and one that is more confusing, complicated, and combustible than any time before. I believe the United States still has a better hand to play than any of our rivals, unless we squander the moment and throw away some of our best cards. That’s exactly what the current administration is doing.
We cannot afford to further erode the sources of our power at home and abroad. The demolition of institutions—the dismantling of USAID and Voice of America, the planned 50 percent reduction in the State Department’s budget—is part of a bigger strategic self-immolation. We’ve put at risk the network of alliances and partnerships that is the envy of our rivals. We’ve even gutted the research funding that powers our economy.
If intelligence analysts at the CIA saw our rivals engage in this kind of great-power suicide, we would break out the bourbon. Instead, the sound we hear is of champagne glasses clinking in the Kremlin and Zhongnanhai.
Of course we should put our own national interests first. But winning in an intensely competitive world means thinking beyond narrowly defined self-interest and building coalitions that counterbalance our adversaries; it requires working together on “problems without passports” such as climate change and global health challenges, which no single country can solve on its own.
At our best, over the years I served in government, we were guided by enlightened self-interest, a balance of hard power and soft power. That’s what produced victory in the Cold War, the reunification of Germany, the coalition success in Operation Desert Storm, peace in the Balkans, nuclear-arms-control treaties, and the defense of Ukraine against Putin’s aggression. The bipartisan PEPFAR program is a shining example of America at its best—saving tens of millions of people from the deadly threat of HIV/AIDS while also fostering some measure of stability in sub-Saharan Africa, establishing wider trust in American leadership, and keeping Americans safe.
We weren’t always at our best, or always especially enlightened, as we stumbled into protracted and draining conflicts in Afghanistan and Iraq, or when we didn’t press allies hard enough to contribute their fair share. Criticism of the current administration should not obscure any of that, or suggest a misplaced nostalgia for an imperfect past.
From the December 2022 issue: George Packer on a new theory of American power
The growing danger today, however, is that we’re focused exclusively on the “self” part of enlightened self-interest—at the expense of the “enlightened” part. The threat we face is not from an imaginary “deep state” bent on undermining an elected president, but from a weak state of hollowed-out institutions and battered and belittled public servants, no longer able to uphold the guardrails of our democracy or help the United States compete in an unforgiving world. We won’t beat hostile autocrats by imitating them.
Many years ago, when I was finishing graduate school and trying to figure out what I wanted to do with my professional life, my father sent me a note. He was a career Army officer, a remarkably decent man, and the best model of public service I have ever known. “Nothing can make you prouder,” my dad wrote, “than to serve your country with honor.” I’ve spent the past 40 years learning the truth in his advice.
I am deeply proud to have served alongside so many of you. Your expertise and your often quietly heroic public service have made an immeasurable contribution to the best interests of our country. You swore an oath—not to a party or a president, but to the Constitution. To the people of the United States.
To protect us. To defend us. To keep us safe.
You’ve fulfilled your oath, just as those still serving in government are trying their best to fulfill theirs. So will the next generation of public servants.
All of us have a profound stake in shaping their inheritance. I worry about how much damage we will do in the meantime. There is still a chance that the next generation will serve in a world where we curb the worst of our current excesses—stop betraying the ideals of public service, stop firing experts just because their statistics are unwelcome, and stop blowing up institutions that matter to our future. There is still a chance that the next generation could be present at the creation of a new era for America in the world, in which we’re mindful of our many strengths but more careful about overreach.
There is, sadly, room for doubt about those chances. At this pivotal moment, there’s a growing possibility that we will inflict so much damage on ourselves and our place in the world that those future public servants will instead find themselves present at the destruction—a self-inflicted, generational setback to American leadership and national security.
But what I do not doubt is the abiding importance of public service, and the value of what you have done with yours. And I know that you will continue to serve in different ways, helping to stand watch over our great experiment, even as too many of our elected leaders seem to be turning their backs on it.
With appreciation to you and your families,
This article appears in the October 2025 print edition with the headline “You Deserved Better.”
About the Author
William J. Burns is a former career diplomat who served as director of the CIA and deputy secretary of state. He is the author of The Back Channel: A Memoir of American Diplomacy and the Case for Its Renewal.