Feeling old?

 Every time I go through this particular intersection I chuckle to myself.   Morgan was a fairly new driver of 17, and he and Darcy were driving in Herndon.  The manager of a carpet store told the boys that they could take carpet remnants from the dumpster behind the store.  They were fixing up a space in our unfinished basement that they called "the comfort zone".   

The were heading home when they decided to go back and get some more carpet pieces.  They were at the light right where this no u-turn sign is and they made the turn anyway. And wouldn't you know if, I police car was right behind them!  The police man must have been amused.  He told them that if they were going to break the law they really should not do it right in front of a cop!  I don't remember if Morgan got a ticket or not.  But I think he's been more careful since then!

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The feeling old that I put in the subject line is what I am feeling right now as I anticipate my knee replacement surgery.  I am scheduled for one week from today.  

I feel "old".  I have trouble walking without a cane.   I am depressed at how much mobility I have lost.   I am scared, knowing how painful the surgery is going to be. 

I am trying to remind myself how badly I need this surgery and how I will be so much more mobile I will be in a few months.

A lot of things are on my mind.  I care so much about La Leche League and my group, but it is almost a failure.  I do show up every month an my co-Leader tries to show up too.  But there are very few moms who come.  I want to put energy into revitalizing the group but I just can't right now.  

I think about my friend Shannon a lot.   I am pretty sure I have written about her.  She has been so sick for so long.   For most of the last 2 years or so she and I have exchanged emails almost daily.  When she is having a bad spell she cannot write.  Sometimes I write to her husband and he lets me know how Shannon is doing.

Shannon was hospitalized for 6 weeks recently. She had a rough time including brain surgery and surgery to place a feeding tube   I went to visit Shannon just after she got our of the hospital.   I have been hoping to visit again before my surgery but I cannot at this point.  I am not sure she is up for having visitors anyway.

 

And here's more of the "old" I am feeling.  I am 70.  When my mom was 70 she had been disabled for more than five years.  My mom. my sister and I went to Detroit to visit family.   We were staying at my aunt and uncles house when Carol and I heard our mother yell out.  She had fallen trying to get out of bed to go to the bathroom.   She ended up going by ambulance to the hospital and we learned that she had broken her arm.   

Seeing my mother in that hospital emergency room with her broken arm made he seem so old and frail.  And now I am that same age.  Do I seem old and frail to my kids?   Maybe.

Buddy is getting old too!