Friday, December 30, 2016

New years eve eve

Tomorrow is new years eve and it's that time when people make resolutions and plans on how the new year will be better than the last year. 

Resolutions.  I try to be cool about it.  Not proclaim my "resolutions" publicly,  but that little, inner voice is telling me how much better I am going to be.

It's been a rough couple of years.  Brain tumor.  Brain surgery.  Huge thyroid.  Thyroidectomy.    Torn meniscus.  Knee surgery.  Old cat.  Dead cat.  And my latest, preparing for dental implants by having four teeth removed and a bone and skin graft.  Currently in pain but getting better.

So, what does 2017 hold?   Nobody really knows.  My goal, no more medical crap.  No more surgeries.  Get healthy.  Live healthy.  Be healthy.

Be happy.  Or at least try. 

I feel like the last 15 years have been hard.  Well, life is hard.  But beginning with my brother's death, my dad and mother and numerous friends and family dying.

Five kids, all grown up.  Feeling pretty good about these adults and how they have turned out so far.  But I miss feeling needed.   I tell myself that.  I guess I am nostalgic, but we are all where we should be.  And I felt so overwhelmed at times when I was really on call 24/7, when someone needed to nurse while someone else needed a scraped knee kissed and made better.

Parenting is something I always wanted.  I got it.  Regrets?  Yes.  I could have been more patient.  I could have smiled and laughed more and gotten mad less.    But, all in all, something must have gone right.

Starting a new year with Nick and the dog.  No kids on the house.    Yes, I miss them.  But I am happy for them too.

Thanks kids for making me a mother and forcing me to be a big kid at times, and a grown up at others!

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