A few Halloween Costumes

 

Pondering

 Five kids.  We have five adult children.  And I think about them all every day and probably will all of my life.

When I take the dog, Buddy out, I talk to him in a sweet voice (most of the time) and I wonder if the kids ever remember me speaking to them like that.  I know I raised my voice way too often.   Raising kids is hard work.  And I probably made it harder because I was so impatient .  

I think of the kids as little kids.  Hard to explain, but when I talk to any of them, even though they are all older than I was when I became a mother, I still see them as babies and toddlers and high school kids needing to be driven to a friend's house

The hours and years just sitting and nursing and staring into each other's eyes.  The milky grin .  The warmth of their sleeping bodies next to mine.   

I know that Nick and I had a lot of impact into their development and personalities.   What I had not figured we would get out of parenting was the impact on who we were, have become and who we are still evolving into.

I picture myself as a young mother, chasing a newly walking, giggling toddler.  Making cookies and pizza together.  Coloring Easter eggs and making Halloween costumes.

All of those,  now in my DNA.   My children did not make me, but they formed me as a person.

They are such amazing people.  I miss them when we are apart.  I enjoy them when we are together.  

So much energy, physical and mental went into raising these people.   I had not realize what it would really be like.

There's a popular series of "what to expect" books.  But there is no book that can fully predict or realize what it will be like and what it IS like.

It hasn't all been rosey

 I had dental work done last week that was incredibly painful.  I was sent home with prescription strength ibuprofen  which did not help much.  When I called the oral surgeon's office, they called in a much stronger medication- hydrocodone.  It helped, but not 100%.  There was not enough, so I called and they prescribed 4 more pills for me.

Today I went to see the oral surgeon for a follow up.  I talked to him about the pain and he said that he would call in (or however they do it) more and different medications.   

As Nick was leaving a few minutes ago to go to the store he asked if my prescription were ready.  I looked at the pharmacy website and there was no sign of medicines being filled.

I called the doctor's office but they are closed for the day.  I sent an email to the doctor's office that I am sure won't be seen until tomorrow- if I am lucky.

Called the drug store and spoke to the pharmacist who said "no sign of any prescriptions for you"

I hope that the pain is manageable tonight.

I am having more painful stuff done next week.  Yikes!

                                                                My ice pack

Bucket lists

 I never really believed in "bucket lists" for myself.  If you don't know what it means, it is a list of the things you would like to do before you "kick the bucket" which is a euphemism for dying.  I have no idea where that expression came from.

I've always felt that it was natural to want to accomplish things in life, but I never really put the things I wanted to do, into words.

And then, I saw something- an ad or an article about weaving.  Weaving with a loom.   I would love to know how to weave on a loom.   I signed up for a weaving class when we lived in Norway thinking that I could definitely get a good loom there.  And it would be my life time journey- weaving.  The class was cancelled after one meeting due to low enrollment.

I knit, a lot, frequently.  Just about every day.  I sew, but now as much as I did when I had little kids to sew for.  I have recently taken up making potholders- a form of weaving .  But there is just something about actually weaving on a big loom and making cloth appeals to me.  Tugs at me.

I would love to go away to a place, in New Hampshire I think, where weaving workshops and lessons are given.   Maybe I will do that one day.  Yes, that can be on my bucket list!

Meanwhile, my knee is killing me and I need to lose weight so  I can have it fixed.   My mouth hurts because of a dental procedure that involved chiseling out decayed bone and placing bone grafts/.    Nick has cataracts and needs surgery so he can see and read again.

And right this minute I am heading for the shower so we can start out tour of doctors visits for the day!

 

some pictures from our cruise.

View of an aircraft carrier from the deck of our ship.  New York Harbor

Empire State Building

Freedom Tower where the Twin Towers were

Norwegian of the Sea

Seafood Platter St John New Brunswick

Steamers restaurant in St John New Brunswick, Canada

Halifax sunset as seen from the ship

Port of Corner Brook
Small place- the cars and trucks blew their horns at our ship!

 

Shopping Center made of shipping containers

we played a lot of Scrabble

In Canada peanut butter cups can be bought with potato chips!

Anniversary Cake

Portland, Maine

September is almost over

How's that for a strange picture?  

It's an x-ray of my implanted tooth.   The tooth is extracted and a screw thing/ post, is put in.   After it heals, a tooth/ crown is put in place.    From a normal, non x-ray point of view, it looks like a regular tooth- like it's been there all along.

This tooth and I have a long history.  I had an ancient filling in the tooth that was starting to show decay and was falling apart.  So I had a root canal in anticipation of having a regular crown put in.  The original tooth would not be removed- just filed down for the crown to fit over it.

The root canal was not terrible.  People say how terrible they are, but that was not my experience.  What happened later was not so good.  I got an abscess in my gums and had to have an apicoectomy.  That's a procedure that removes infection at the root if you get an infection after a root canal.   It is a surgical procedure and not at all fun.

Even after all of that I ended up losing that tooth and went in for an implant.

I currently have an infection in my gums where the implant it.    I saw my dentist yesterday and I am seeing an oral surgeon tomorrow.   They might have to do a "procedure".  I have no idea what that could entail.

I think that at least a part of why I am so tired lately is that I have an active infection on my mouth.   Plus I am recovering from a Covid vaccine last week and a terrible celiac full on attack.   My body is working overtime on being well.   I think my body is telling me to take it easy.

Cruising this week!   I'll tack the itinerary on the end of this unless I have on a previous post already.  I am really looking forward to getting on the ship and relaxing.  Of course there is a possibility that we will run into a hurricane, but I am not stressed about that- yet!

The first port on this trip is Prince Edward Island followed by Halifax, Nova Scotia.  Wish us luck!

Day	Ports of Call	Arrival	Departure
Sept 23 day 1	New York, New York	---Not Applicable	4:00 PM
day 2	At Sea	---Not Applicable	---Not Applicable
day 3	At Sea	---Not Applicable	---Not Applicable
day 4	Charlottetown, Prince Edward Island	7:00 AM	5:00 PM
day 5	Sydney, Nova Scotia	8:00 AM	6:00 PM
day 6	Halifax, Nova Scotia	9:00 AM	6:00 PM
day 7	Saint John (Bay Of Fundy), New Brunswick	12:45 PM	---Not Applicable
day 8	Saint John (Bay Of Fundy), New Brunswick	---Not Applicable	12:40 AM
day 8	Portland, Maine	12:30 PM	10:00 PM
day 9	Boston, Massachusetts	7:00 AM	5:00 PM
day 10	At Sea	---Not Applicable	---Not Applicable
Oct 3  day 11	New York, New York	7:00 AM	---

The Norwegian Joy

 

Feeling old

 Yesterday I wrote on Facebook that I am officially old.   That's how I feel much of the time these days.

The truth is I am tired.  Exhausted even.   And then, of course, I feel guilty for feeling tired because (in my mind) I am not doing anything so I shouldn't be tired.    But I am.

Even though from the outside I don't seem to be doing much of anything, I am.  Went to Portland.  Did a lot of cleaning and organizing.  Left early because the kids had covid.  

Chance and I did so much work at Courtney's house.  We didn't have to, but we wanted to.  The clutter and disorganization ate at my energy.  I know that what works for one person/ family/  household, is not necessarily what works for anyone else.  Actually, as hard as we worked, it energized me to feel productive.    I am fairly certain that the organization I left in place has been undone by now, or will be soon.  I have to remind myself that it's not a judgement of me.  I "shouldn't" feel disrespected.   And I don't exactly.  I just feel like it is hard for anyone to feel the way I do.    

Not going to try to elaborate any more, it's exhausting.

Thursday morning, Nick and I got our most recent Covid booster shot.   Thursday evening I went to my first La Leche League meeting in over 2 years.  Thanks pandemic!   It was a very small meeting.  Myself and one other, brand new LLL Leader, and a mom with her 6 week old baby.  It was a new meeting place- in a church nursery school room which was great.  But I was feeling overwhelmed.  I think that the shot was making me tired. The room felt hot (maybe also from the shot) and I felt out of practice is that's possible.   

After the meeting, when we went outside, it was dark out, and I had to drive home in the dark.   I have not driven in the dark for a while, and definitely not for any distance.  It was really stressful.  I felt lost.  I felt like I was driving blind. If we were still living in our house in Reston, it would have been a short drive and I am sure it would have been fine.  But we live farther away now and have to drive on fast, busy roads.

Anyway, I just felt so old and out of it when I got home. I know that the vaccination had something to do with how I was feeling.

I started entertaining the thought of retiring from La Leche League. A feeling I never thought i would experience.  How depressing.   I am closer to 70 than 30.  I am old enough to be some of these women's grandmother.  But I do feel like I have a lot to offer.   I need to work through my funk. 

It's complicated