when someone dies you get on the phone

 I learned yesterday that my cousin's 52 year old son, Torrey had died.   There were comments on his Facebook page saying what a great guy he was and R.I.P.  So I googled his name and found this:

 

 

TORREY TUFT

Case #: 2023-11491

Place Of Death: Residence

December 12, 1970 - August 29, 2023

(52)

I am sure I have met Torrey at various family gatherings.  Most recently at a Thompsen family reunion in McMinneville, Oregon in 2016.  

 

This was taken at the same reunion.  The color of the shirt designates which of the five Thompsen brothers you descended from.  These are all great grandchildren of the original Thompsens who came over from Norway

 

 

 Torrey is the man in the very front of the picture.    The other people in the picture are his family- Aunts and Uncles and cousins.  His mother, Cassy, is my first cousin.

After I read the comments on Facebook and found the LA Medical Examiner's report, what did I do?   I got on the phone.  I called my sister.   She saw the information and contacted another cousin to see if she knew what happened.  That cousin called Torrey's mom on the phone and relayed the information to my sister and I.

I posted the sad information on an email group that I call "Thompsen cousins".   And, later in the evening another cousin called me.  He said he had called Cassie (Torrey's mom) to learn what happened.

Before we had the internet and email and Facebook, we relied on the phone to convey news both sad and happy.

When we lived overseas, before internet and when overseas phone calls were difficult to make and expensive, we learned about the death of a family member by mail.  When my high-school friend Andy died, I got a letter from her boyfriend letting me know.  I held that letter and was unable to say what had happened -I cried.

That's how I learned about the deaths of some of my grandparents.   It's how I got the message to my family that I had lost my first baby.

There's just something very primal I think about the need to share powerful information with the people who know you and know what and whom you are referring to.

Life is good.  Life is hard. Life can be so very hard.  That's what being a person is.

updated 9/1/2023:

(L.A.) Torrey Tuft, 52, Died at a Residence

Deaths, Local natural death 0 

Case Number: 2023-11491

Los Angeles County is reporting the death of a 52-year-old White/Caucasian male that occurred at a residence.

The coroner’s office has identified the man as Torrey Tuft.

Manner of Death: Natural

Cause of Death A: Sudden Cardiac Death

Cause of Death B: Atherosclerotic Cardiovascular Disease

RIP TORREY TUFT (December 12, 1970 – August 29, 2023)

Formal pronouncement of death was made on Tuesday at 7:09 p.m.

We do not know if the decedent was injected with synthetic mRNA.