Looking through old things

 I should spend some more time in the basement in this house.  It's not an uncomfortable place to be.  I have my sewing space and my scrap booking spaces all set up and ready to go.

 It's just one of those things.  You shouldn't go there if you expect to get anything done.   

I started looking through boxes and files looking for Chance's original copy of his report of birth abroad.  I didn't find it, but I found so many other things.

I have old La Leche League papers and sign in sheets and a few thank you notes from moms.   I found the 2004 directory of LLL Leaders in Virginia and West Virginia.   Listings of the various groups and who was leading them.   It inspires a "where are they now" feeling.  I could spend hour upon hour just searching for the people who's names I know but have not heard in years.   

 

I found a few elementary school year books and project books with poems written by my kids.

Morgan in third grade

 

I found my college transcript with notes I wrote on it about getting into nursing school.  I never did apply to nursing school, but my grades were not too bad.

Pictures.  So many pictures.  All of the kids at different ages.  Pictures of friends too.  Some dead now, some just lost touch with.

And my journal that I started in 1977.  It starts with the words "the bleeding started a week ago" referring to when I lost my first baby.   

And many pages later in the journal I write "Courtney is delightful. She talks and has so much to say.  I wonder if she understands about the baby?".  I was pregnant with Morgan at the time.

  Who was I?  Who am I now.  Who are all of the selves and lives have I lived.   Homes around the world  One baby, two, three, four and then five.   Each one an individual with a story that is shared with me and stories of themselves that do now include me.

A couple of years ago we had a Christmas cookie exchange here in this house in Aldie.  Looking back, I had forgotten that Shannon was co-hosting it with me.   And now Shannon is sick.  Has been for at least two years.   

The world is big and wonderful and scary and amazing.  I wish I could make the world heal and stop the fighting and hurting people.   

I can do a lot of things.  I had the "fix everything" mom kiss for years.  But it seems that the kids don't notice that they have outgrown the need for a mom kiss even though I have not outgrown the wish that I could kiss everything and make t better.

heading to the orthopedic surgeon in a minute

 

This is a cool photo I took the other day when we were visiting Chance at his house in West Virginia.   That's his beautiful cat- whose name I can never remember!

Steroid shots do help with my knee pain, but make me crazy!  It's not unheard of for me to get frustrated and angry.  But at the moment I am getting more so than usual.    Mumbling under my breath how stupid everyone is!   

I want a new knee. I dread the surgery.  Most painful experience in my life- bar none.  But the long term, assuming I am going to live a lot longer, it will be worth it.

Meanwhile, I like to run the air conditioning at freezing, but I don't.  However, with the steroids in my system I am feeling hotter than usual.  So, Nick bought me (on Amazon) a neck air conditioner:

 In other news, I keep newspapers that have what I think of as historical .  Here is the Washington Post from January 21, 2001.   Our (hopefully) next President:

 

 

Who can resist this sweet face!

Five and a half weeks old

                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                             

"You lookin' at me?"

 

 

    

 

Update

 My orthopedic surgeon is on vacation, but I was able to get in and get seen by his PA (physician's assistant).  

Several ex-rays confirmed what I already know- bone on bone arthritis.    disgnosis: Severe tricompartmental osteoarthritis in right knee. I got s steroid shot in my knee

 If I get the ex ray images I will post them here .

 Meanwhile, I am sitting a lot because I am in so much pain.   My knee makes all sorts of noises when I walk.

I already had knee replacement surgery in my left knee.  So in a few months, I will have a companion knee.

Pain sucks!  

Left knee picture after surgery 2019

     

                                                   Left knee now, 2024

It's Sunday and I am sick of politics

Biden has left the race for President.  Trump is a horrible person.  Kamala Harris will be our next President.

'Nuff said

I hate pain.  My right knee hurts so much I cannot stand to walk anywhere.  Even just going to the kitchen or bathroom is painful.   I desperately want to have my knee replacement surgery. I do remember how painful the surgery and recovery were with the first one, but now I can walk with no pain in my left knee.  

I am working really hard on complying with the Weight Watchers plan.  Not open for discussion by the way.   I don't need any input on diet and exercise.  

I hope I can make myself go to the community center pool and swim.   It will feel good and I will get some exercise there.

 ****************************************

 Baby Galileo continues to grow and amaze.  According to Darcy, Galileo is a bit above 7 pounds!  Good job baby and parents!

 

One month old!

 

Sweet smiling baby boy

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

                                                                                       

 

 Not always happy!

 

 

 

 

             

And there's this!

The other day I wrote about having a bucket list.   And I have been thinking about something else that could be considered (by me anyway) as a bucket list thing.

What might that be your ask?  Organizing.  Drawers, closets, garage and so many other things. 

Almost every day I think about cleaning.  Organizing.  Throwing things away.    We have boxes and boxes in the basement and in the garage. There's just so much "stuff"!

Every now and then I will suggest to Nick that we bring on one box from the garage and go through it.  To which he replies "what will we do with the stuff we take out of the box?".  I don't have an answer, so we don't do anything.

Most of the time I just ignore the stuff we have in boxes and in the garage and storage rooms (we have 2 storage rooms).   

I think maybe at least to some extent I am just lazy.  But I also know myself well enough that I know I will start out Gung ho  and will get a bunch of work done.  And then I will either get tired or bored and will leave a bunch of the things I am trying to organize unfinished.

What to do what to do!?

Messy Closet

Messy Drawer

 

Bucket Lists

 I googled "bucket" and came across this picture.  I was thinking about bucket lists.  People often talk about what's on their bucket list and I am always thinking-hey I don't have a bucket list.  But maybe I do.

 

I'm 70.  What do I want to do?  With the rest of my life?   Whew.  How long is that?   

When I really think about it there are so many things I want to do.  I want to go back to every country and city we have lived in overseas.  I want to see our old houses when possible.   I am know that the apartments we lived in in Bangkok are gone.  Knocked down so something else could be built there   I am pretty sure our house in Poznan, Poland is still there as is our house in Tromso, Norway And Perth, Western Australia.  Taipei?  Probably not.  Chiang Mai?  I don't know.

We lived in all of these places and they are etched into my brain as pieces of my life.  The floor I sat on to play with the kids.   The couch I nursed this or that baby on.   Kitchens and bathrooms.  All a part of who and what I am.

So, that's some of my bucket list.

I have friends all over the world.  Especially my La Leche League Power Surge friends.  I want to go visit each one of them.  I want to go to Australia and see my former next door neighbor who I knew in Bangkok- who had her first baby just days after I had my first.

I know that you can't ever "go back home".  Or even know where home is.  You cannot relive that once upon a time life.  And it's probably a good thing because nostalgia is just remembering things in ways that are not really accurate.  Some of the memories that seem so beautiful actually had children throwing up or screaming or fighting with each other.  And me losing my temper too.

But to just look though my life with the sweetest memories and fondness.  That's what I want.

People. yes, people are a lot of what I want, in my bucket list.  To reconnect with people that I have shared small splinters of time and life with.  But memorably.

I feel like a kid in a candy store.  There are so many delights and I want them all.  But which do I want the most?  And will I get to do most or these things or even any of them.

I could live another 10 years.  Or 20 years maybe- not likely though.

A part of me feels the urgency to do and see everything and everyone while I can.  

And another part of me wants to sit in my chair, knitting and watching TV.   And living in the moment.  Being where I am.  

I guess I don't really know if I have a bucket list!

Happy Fourth of July!

 I am sure I have written about all of the Independence Day celebrations we have been through.  Sometimes we were overseas and were working as representatives on the USA.  Other times we were lighting legal fireworks in the driveway with our kids watching,

This is what I wrote to a dear friend yesterday:

"Have you ever been to the fire works in Downtown DC on the Mall?     One year when I was about 10, my dad took me.  It was very windy so they called the show off and held it the next day.  It was called the Fourth and a Half of July.

Nick and I have been a few times. Once with my mom when Nick had a good parking spot at the IRS building (he worked at the Tax Court when he was in law school).  Once when we were all dressed up as Pilgrims- Nick had a parking spot in the State Department basement lot.   We were in the parade that year.

In 1999, after we had returned from Australia and Nick and I were not living together, all five kids and I took the Metro to the fireworks.    We discovered that the Smithsonian museums were open for a while so we went there to use the bathroom.   There were Harri Krishna people giving free food (we made a donation).   After the fireworks a lot of people had left trash, so Courtney insisted that we pick up as much trash as we could before going home.

So many memorable July 4th celebrations overseas too.  Where we were the hosts.   Including the one when the boss, as he was departing the post said "oh by the way, I have sent out invitations for 1,200.00 people for the Fourth of July celebration at the consulate.  Leaving Nick and I to organize the food, fireworks and entertainment.  "Only" 600 people showed up!"

 

Independence Day 1993 Washington, DC

 

We went to North Carolina to meet our new grandson and to visit with Darcy and Jody and two of her older children.  Daughter Varian and I did a bit of "Hanging out" as she called it.  We had a nice time going out together for shopping and coffee at the macaroon shop near their house.  She is turning 19 in a few weeks so I gave her a gift card and she bought herself an Anime figure and some cards.   I am her grandma in a way too.

Nick and I bought meals either by delivery or pickup so we could all eat and nobody would have to cook.

Baby Galileo is so cute and sweet and tiny.  He is perfect though, so I don't want it to sound like I am saying he is tiny as if that's a bad thing.

Darcy is smitten.  he is such a hands on dad it is wonderful to see.   Jody had a rough time with the preeclampsia and is still recovering.   

Okay, now for the photo bombing.  I know that;s not the correct term for what I am doing but it sounds better than "dumping".