I Love Knittng- just sayin'

 

These are two different, separate blankets

Feeling something- protective, scared, yeah all that and more

 

Last week I wrote here on my Blog about sleeping babies.  And now, one of those beautiful babies has cancer.  Courtney has thyroid cancer.  The type she has, they say, is slow growing and very treatable.   Courtney will have her thyroid removed and then will be on thyroid replacement drugs for the rest of her life.

I had my thyroid removed- not because of cancer, but because I had a goiter that was impeding my swallowing and breathing.  And I had already been on thyroid drugs for about 20 years.

Also, Courtney, while an adult, competent person, is my child.  My baby.  Bad things are not supposed to happen to our children. 

I guess I could be crying and panicking, but that's not who I am.   I am worried.  Stressed.   Feeling helpless.  Yes it could be worse.   But that' not where  am at.

Being a mother is who I am.  It is what I am.  Being a mother, or father, makes you feel strong, capable and willing to stand in front of  a bullet for your child.  But is also exposes all of your weaknesses and vulnerabilities and frailties'.

Courtney and Zach July 2022

Sleeping Babies

 I am a moderator on a Facebook group that supports and gives information on co-sleeping with your baby.   I swore that I would never have a baby sleep in our bed.  But I have learned, never say never.

Courtney, my first born baby, was a sweet baby. The first months of getting up and nursing her in the night were really sweet.   I relished those middle of the night feedings.   There was no noise, no TV or radio.  Nobody was up except me and my baby.  She would nurse, burp and go back to sleep, and back into her crib.  Somewhere around 4 months she started to sleep through the night.   Prefect baby!

We left Thailand when Courtney was around 4 months old.  In the hotels we stayed in on the way home, we had a crib brought in for her.  In Oregon, we stayed at my aunt and uncle's house where we made a nice, cozy bed for her using a dresser drawer.

Somewhere around nine months old, Courtney started needing to nurse in the night again.  I would go into her room, sit and nurse her back to sleep, and try to get her to go back to her crib.  But, no matter how gentle and careful I was, the second I set her down she would start to cry.  I would get Nick up and if I handed her to Nick after nursing her to sleep, he could lay her down.  It was separating from me that was hard.

Nick was working and had to get up early every day to get to work.  Shortly after we started this routine, Nick told me that he needed to sleep and that I should just bring Courtney into bed with us.  We did bring her into our bed.  And I lay awake worrying that I was doing something wrong.

Around that time I was attending La Leche League meetings.  I brought home a book from one of the meetings that changed my life.  The book was The Family Bed.  It explained that throughout time babies have slept with their parents.  It all made sense. I was so relieved.  We were alright.

Ever after that, all of our babies slept with us.  For years.  For as long as they needed.

Getting back to the group that I am a moderator on.  So many of the moms are really worried about sleeping with their babies.  There is ever a book (published by La Leche League) that has all of the "rules" and guidance on how to sleep safely with your baby.  

I guess it's a good thing in these litigious times to have such a manual so nobody says that LLL told them to this or that.  It's in the book.

But to me, the sad thing is how totally stressed new parents are.  About everything.  I think that at least a part of it because moms go back to work when their babies are quite young.  So there is all of the stress to get everything right because there won't be a second chance.  There's no real time to just learn your baby and learn yourself as a parent.

What prompted me to write this is that I posted a picture of Courtney and Morgan sleeping together- like a couple of puppies- around the ages of 2 nd 5.  I commented that they are now 41 and 44 and never sleep with me and in fact I only see them a couple of times a year.

Over 2,000 people "likes" that picture and many of them commented.  

I texted the picture to Courtney and told her about it.  She said that Morgan just happened to be visiting her.  Courtney and Morgan reenacted the pose and Kim, Morgan's wife took a picture.  I shared that on  Facebook too.

I sure love my babies!

July weather

Yesterday there was a huge storm.  We were out, and hurried home just in time to beat the storm.  Thunder and lightning and wind and hail.   Nick said we should be ready to run into the basement- but we didn't need to after all.

There's something about nature- it puts things into perspective.  That we are not everything even though we tend to think we are.   Ha.  

It's hard not to be clique' and thinking about life.  Our life. Our kids.  Our past and future.   Nick and I and our little dog Buddy sit in this big, grand house.  Just the three of us. And we are actually happy and comfortable here.

Every now and then, either me or Nick will say "do we really have 5 kids?".  There is something hard to believe how intense and noisy and busy our lived were.  Every day.  With five kids there is very little if any "down time".  Looking at pictures and home movies feels like looking at old anthropological studies of some unknown culture/ society.   

One at a time we added these once little people to our household.  One baby, then  toddler and a baby, nd so on nd so on until there were 5.   Driving the kids to school events and birthday parties and visiting- usually to grandparent's houses.   

Then they all come "home".   Five adults with partners and cats and noise and love and tension and laughter.   I said "home" with quotation marks because I always thought of our house in Reston as home.  We bought it in 1983, and we always came back to that house when we returned from overseas.   

And four years ago we bought this house.  this huge house.  Twice as big as the house we raised the kids in.  But we love it.   I hope that they all feel at home here.  The furniture is familiar, and Nick and I are

After the storm, the sky turned a yellowy pink.

Things you remember

 From the time I was 7 to the time I was 15, we (my family) lived in a basement apartment.  There was a lot of area to go outside and play.  But there was no part of it that was our own.  Nowhere to plant and grow anything.

My mom bought me a "punch and grow" kit at the grocery store.  It had directions on how to get the seeds to sprout and what to do once they did sprout.   The kit I had was one with flowers; Sweet Williams, which I now know are also called dianthus .  

Every time I see Sweet Williams flowers I feel nostalgic and happy.  

One summer we took my little kit with it's budding little flowers and planted them in my grandmothers back yard.  She lived in Detroit in what I would now consider a small house.  But then it was a HOUSE!  Not an apartment.  With it's own yard, both front and back.  My grandmother had a clothes line!  She grew tomatoes and probably other things too.   I was a wonderful place.    She had some toys and puzzles in her front hall coat closet- for the grandchildren to play with.  There was a basement, which was always cool in the summer.  She had a little box on the outside of her screened porch that was where the mail was delivered.  There was a flap inside the box where the mail could be collected.   I used to make little notes and drawings and put them in the mail box and say "Grandma, you got mail"!

But, back to those flowers.  I know that I have a photo of them somewhere.  My kids will no doubt find the picture of some little flowers and wonder what they are and why anyone took a picture of them.   I was so incredibly happy and proud of my flowers!

I now how Sweet Williams growing in flower pots in front of my house and in back.  They make me smile.   Yes they do.

Happy Independence Day

 We all marched in the Fourth of July parade on Constitution Avenue in Washington, D.C. July 4, 1992

Nick and the kids are all Mayflower descendants.

I have a lot of cousins

 My cousins, John Thompsen and his husband Julian , and Susan Thompsen West, John's sister, were here-  for a nice visit.    They were here to attend a wedding- their nephew- son of their brother Jim Thompsen.    Since Jim and his wife, Karen were the parents of the groom, they did not stay here.  

We did have a chance to visit with the three sibling, cousins.  Their father was my father's younger brother.   It's so funny to share genes with the people and also share memories.  We have not seen then very often, and usually not for a long time.  But we have all known each other all of our lives.  

Thompsen cousins:  Carol, Nancy (me) John, Susan and Jim

My father was one of five sons. My mother was also one of five, three sons and two daughters.   In my dad's family there were:

Erling and Katherine who had two sons and a daughter.   

Ralph and Grace who had 3 daughters

Theodore (Ted) & Ruth- my parents, who had two daughters and one son

Norris and Alice (parents of Susan, John and Jim)- a daughter and two sons

Jim and Francelle  had two daughters/

On my dad's side- the Thompsens, there were 14 grandchildren.  That means 10 cousins for my sister, brother and myself.

The five Thompsen sons died in the same order they were born:

My mom's family name was Rivers.  

George & Eunice had two sons and one daughter

Ruth & Ted (my parents) had two daughters and one son

John (Bud) and Joyce had two daughters

Norman and Joanne had two daughters and one son

Geraldine and John had five children, four daughters and one son.

George, Ruth & Norman are dead.

On my mom's side there were 15 grandchildren, so I have 12 cousins on the Rivers side.

So, all together I have 22 first cousins.    All but two of my first cousins have their own children.

And so it goes.  

Nick, who is interested in genealogy, gets overwhelmed by my family.  He had three cousins who he never really got to know, and one of them is dead.   

My own children don't have many cousins.  Jim and Tom who were 8 and 10 years old when I had my first baby.   Kathy who is an only child and is a few months younger than Morgan.    Molly, another only child, who is three weeks older than Austin.    

We have 5 adult children.  We don't have any grandchildren and I don't know if we ever will.    What I grew up with, which seemed "normal" is not the normal I expected.  But life is good.   

We took this picture last year, but it's still a great picture. 
We refer to is as our "radish anniversary"