Our Thanksgiving Feast

  
 Our Thanksgiving meal was vegetarian and gluten free .   

Nick and Austin and I ate dinner, watched Jeopardy and ate pies and whipped cream, and ice cream.

Before we ate, we all zoomed.  Nick and I and all five kids!

Let Us Give Thanks/ Thanksgiving

 Let Us Give Thanks

By the Rev. Max Coots

Let us give thanks for the bounty of people:

For children who are our second planting, and, though they grow like weeds and the wind too soon blows them away, may they forgive us our cultivation and fondly remember where their roots are.

Let us give thanks:

For generous friends....with hearts...and smiles as bright as their blossoms.

For feisty friends as tart as apples.

For continuous friends, who like scallions and cucumbers, keep reminding us that we've had them;

For crotchety friends, as sour as rhubarb and as indestructible;

For handsome friends, who are as silly as Brussels sprouts and as amusing as Jerusalem artichokes, and serious friends as complex as cauliflower and as intricate as onions;

For friends as unpretentious as cabbages. as subtle as summer squash, as persistent as parsley, as delightful as dill, as endless as zucchini and who, like parsnips , can be counted on to see you through the winter;

For old friends, nodding like sunflowers in the evening time, and young friends coming on as fast as radishes;

For loving friends, who wind around us like tendrils and hold us, despite our blights, wilts and witherings;

And finally , for those friends now gone, like gardens past that have been harvested, and who fed us in their times that we might have life  thereafter.

For all these we give thanks.

Grandpa Sherwood and granddaughter Kathy, 1985?

The power of our parents

 When I was traveling home from Norway with three little kids, I learned a lesson that I should have already known.  Little kids think that their parents (mostly their moms) can do everything.  That we control everything. 

On that trip, I was traveling alone with the three kids, one eight years old, one five and the third not quite two.   We sat in the plane, on the tarmac, for a long time waiting to be cleared to take off.  We probably sat there for two hours.   After we had been waiting for a while, my five year old said "why aren't you driving mom?".  I tried to explain to him that I was not "driving" the plane, the pilot was and it was his job to decide when we could fly.  This five year old did not believe me.  "unh uh, YOU are the driver"  he insisted.   

What did I learn?  What I learned is that our children believe that we are all powerful.  That if the weather is bad, if they fall and need a kiss, or if the plane is taking a long time to get moving, we are the one that makes it all happen.

Another case in point.  A man I know was taking his girlfriend to meet his mother.  The girlfriend asked him to describe what his mother was like.  The man said "she's really tall".   The man is over 6' tall.   His mother was around 5'2".  The girlfriend was surprised when she met her future mother in law.    The man, in his mind, saw his mother as a much bigger person than she actually was.  Because , in his mind she was a big presence.  

My own mother held some of the mother power over the three of us.   We all loved her dearly.  But we all were afraid if her too.   My sister and I washed some bath mats of our mother's.  When we took them out of the dryer,  the little rugs were reduced to ragged, fluffy things.  The dryer was full of pink fluff.   Our first thought was "oh no, she's going to kill us".  Now you should know that our mother was 5'1", disabled, and attached to an oxygen hose.  Physically there was nothing in the world she would have been able to do.  But, we were still scared.   When we tried to sneak the shredded rugs past our mom, she saw us.  My sister and I burst out laughing.  When we showed the rugs to our mother, she laughed too.  What on earth were we afraid of?   We were afraid of getting in  trouble.  Being scolded and made to feel like naughty little kids.   That's the power my mother had.

Years ago, I cannot remember the conversation, but my daughter was upset at something.  Probably something I said.  She was crying when she said "I do everything to make you happy".  I was so surprised!  I told her that I do not want to have that power.   I don't know if anything happened in that moment, but I do know that my daughter is able to be honest with me and I think (I hope) that she is not afraid of disappointing me.

And now, I think that we have become our parents in some strange way.  The kids see the things we are not doing "right" and want to correct us because they know better.  We are told that we shouldn't be paying for TV cable.  We should get these other things with strange names (Hulu?).  We'd be able to get all the shows we want and wouldn't be spending as much.  We have our cell phone service with a crummy company and should change that as well.

We (Nick and I) know and admire that things that our adult kids know.  We are often in absolute awe.    But, we don't have to change things if we are happy with how we are doing things.   

Recently we were "blamed" for anything that's wrong in our house.  "why did you buy a  house that is so big? has this or that problem.  Why don't you call a plumber?"  As long as we are competent, we will continue to do whatever we feel is right in our own house

There will be a time I am sure, when we will need the help of our children for much if not all of our needs.  But not yet.  It is my plan and hope that we will be in a place where we can be as independent as we want and know that there is care available when we need it.

I do miss my mom. Nick misses his mother.  But I don't miss being second guessed and being hurt occasionally.  I did "give" her that power.  No consciously , but [probably] naturally.

Maybe one day I will write about fathers.  Mostly my father....

My sister's high school graduation, 1966

Happy Birthday to my husband, Nick Sherwood

 It seems  no matter how I try placing these pictures here they come out in the wrong order.  Oh well!

It's November and nothing is normal

 Today is Nick's birthday.  I guess that's normal.  It happens every year.   This year it will be a quiet birthday. 

Diwali happened last week.  The neighbors had fireworks.  Their kids had sparklers.   Everyone dressed up in their best saris.    We were invited to join in the festivities, but declined because the Corona virus numbers are going up again.

When the pandemic was first in the news, I thought the reporting was going  to be like when a snow storm is predicted.  It would be the lead news story, everyone would be all excited, then it would fade and nobody would mention it anymore.   But it didn't happen that was at all.  It did stop being the only story.  The election took over as a big topic.   And demonstrations and Black lives matter and masks and people refusing to wear masks.

And here we are.   Sitting around more than usual.  Going out less than before.   I miss walking up and down the aisles at Target just looking at everything.   I used to call my sister and say "I am at Target looking for things to spend money on"

I miss my kids.  I am sad that we won't be able to get together for Christmas.   It's been over a year since we've seen the west coast kids.   Austin is here and that's nice even though I know that we old folks drive him crazy.

Nick made a comment the other day.  He said, even if we do get to be grandparents, we will never get to see any grandchildren as adults.  We're getting that old.

Aging is strange.   It's not like one day you get up and say "oh my, I am old now".   It's not like that at all.  It's little things.  The most obvious , for me at least is my hair.  It is pretty much completely white now.   When I look in the mirror I see myself as blond, but really my hair is white.   

We watched "Funniest Home Videos" on TV last night.  It's a silly show, but it's good for laughs.  Something I noticed on the show last night was how people fall.  There are a lot of videos of people tripping or losing their footing and falling down.  The more senior (old) the person was, the more clumsy and dangerous their fall.  Awkward .  Unable to get up on their own.  Like when I fell in the front yard a couple of months ago.    when does that happen?   At what point and age does falling down get to be so perilous ?    When do we becoming wobbly, fragile people ?

On a different subject:  I was watching the birds this morning.  I was sitting on the deck, in the cold, and I saw these two birds going around and a round in the same circuit .  Was one chasing the other? Maybe.  Were they playing? Having fun?  I don't know.  But it was fascinating.  Even Buddy the dog stopped to watch.

It reminded me of my mother.  When she was living in assisted living, she  was fascinated by the aquarium in the communal sitting area.   she would watch the fish and observe their behavior.   Once when I was visiting she explained her observations .  She pointed out how one particular fish would chase another fish.  How one would swim to a certain point and then turn and repeat the same path.  To anyone watching, you would have seen an old lady  who was clearly demented, just staring into space.    But in reality she was observing and learning and enjoying herself.

It is so easy to make assumptions bases on what we think we know and we see.

Nick is 73 today.  The parents who were so happy to welcome him into the world are no longer here to celebrate with him.   Life is strange like that.

Biden Wins!

 

2000 and 2020

In 2000 I was an election official.   My son Darcy was a page- a history class assignment (I think).

My older son, Morgan was voting for the first time.

It was a long and exhausting day, but I felt satisfied as a good citizen.   After the polling place where I was working had closed, we election officials had to stay and make sure that the numbers matched.   We had to see that there were the same number of votes and there were people who had signed in.

I went home and went to bed knowing that I would learn who had won when I got up.

When I got up, there was Morgan.  He had been watching TV all night.  He told me that the news people were trying to figure things out on white boards and nobody knew who had won. 

The decision was ultimately decided in favor of George W Bush.

There was a lot of controversy and ultimately was made that Bush was to be the new president.  It took over a month.

Al Gore won the popular vote but Bush won the electoral college votes

Candidate    Party   Electoral Votes  Popular Votes✓

George W. Bush  Republican  271-  50,456,062

Albert Gore, Jr  .Democratic  266-  50,996,582

   2000 election final count

2020 as of 1:00 pm Eastern Time November 5, 2020

And now we wait

 There are still votes to be counted- the mail in votes.  And what has been counted is too close to call yet.

I was hoping for a landslide.  I was not expecting to learn that there are so many people who support Trump/   Rednecks, bigots, angry and sad people who have bought the Trump lies.

So we wait.

It is election day!

 

It's Monday and tomorrow is election day

 

It is barely Monday right now.  Just a little bit after midnight.  But that is technically Monday.    One more day.     I am not sure what I am going to do on Tuesday.  I have already voted, but Nick is going to the polls.   Will my anxiety be gone Wednesday morning or will it be even worse?   

I knitted a purple scarf/ cowl.   This purple bandana/cowl was designed to increase awareness about the need to vote in elections and demand equality for all people.

I am such a liberal it's probably annoying to some people.  Oh well.

Bed now.  Maybe more before Tuesday's voting.  Maybe not