Recovery

I got finished with IV antibiotics and the pill that I was taking.  Got the Picc line removed last week.  I guess that means I am free.  At least free of those constraints.  It's so nice that my day isn't revolving around taking pills and administering drugs and flushing my Picc line.

The site where the Picc line was is still tender.  I have had to wear a bandage over it because it hurts and I didn't want anything- like clothing, rubbing it.  Right now it is feeling alright.

This adventure has been very different than I expected.  I am not sure exactly what I expected, but I do know what I was afraid of.  I was afraid that I would have to be on a ventilator like the last time.  I was afraid I would wake up from surgery in a lot of pain.  I was especially scared of waking up with deficits- unable to think clearly, unable to walk or talk.   But I got through that better than expected.  I was thrilled when I wok up with no headache pain!   I felt wonderful.

Then after two weeks of feeling great, I was knocked down by being sick and going back into the hospital.

When I came home from surgery, it's almost like I was high on life.  I was feeling so positive.  So happy.  I had a hard time understanding why I had ever been sad or angry.  Those thoughts and feeling had vanished.

Getting sick after feeling so good was a shock and a surprise.  The second stay in the hospital felt more like work.  I had to work on getting better.  I had teams of doctors from several departments coming into my room and looking at me.  Asking me questions.  I did smile and talked and was sociable.  But not happily bouncing in the joy I had when I was first out of the OR.

And now, I am tired.  I am no longer tethered, but am cautious .  I have stayed housebound mostly.  Partly because I am not feeling 100 % better, but mostly because I am terrified of getting sick.  The flu is said to be especially bad this year.

I am expecting to wake up with my energy restored one of these days.

Meanwhile, here I sit.  In my pajamas, with my computer in my lap.  Watching a lot of TV.  Healing.