Saturday, May 2, 2015

When is enough too much?

I feel like I am sort of slow some days.  I mean mentally.  I always do this.  I over do.  How?  Am I stupid?   Or just hoping that life is somehow different and better.

I used to tell people that I was like a gerbil.  They are little, mouse-like rodents.  The one big difference is, they have tons of energy and they can run and run and run.  Then, plop.  They drop down into a deep sleep.  The first time I observed this, I thought the poor little thing had died of a heart attack!

I seem to always attract interesting medical challenges (for lack of a better word).  Appendicitis at age 13.   All of the other things I won't go into right now (maybe later).

But, after the problem is taken care of, I tend to feel so much better that I end up doing too much and falling over, like a gerbil.

Last year I found out I had a brain tumor.  I didn't feel very good.  Especially knowing that there was something in my head that shouldn't be there. Leading up to the surgery I faded a lot.  Not like I was going to die, but like I was really tired and needed to rest.

Once I had recovered enough, I got back on that wheel and started running.   I was doing more LLL stuff. Taking lactation clients.   Running around (no not literally)

And I have had this goiter for at least 20 years.  It was diagnosed in 1995.   I have taken different medications, worked out at the gym.  Tried to eat better. But the goiter was taking over.  It was stealing some of my vitality and my ability to be the hyper mom I used to be.  I know, I am almost 61, But I should have more energy .  Almost as soon as the got removed, I could feel the energy seeping info my brain and allowing me to feel more human.  
This is what was removed from my neck!


But, what I want and what I can do, at least now, is, do more.  The last few days I did some extra things.  Made two lactation calls this week.  I organized  a Breastfeeding Cafe' about 5 years ago,  I will sit and listen to moms share their challenges and joys.  I am there  to help them find answer questions.

I was going to do a lactation call today.  I really did.  But I work up at around  3:00 AM (middle of the night) with a sore back and painful ankle.  And a sore throat.  So I didn't go.  I am still in my pajamas at 1:15 PM.  I keep falling asleep at the keyboard.

I guess that this week I have done too much!


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