Thoughts on Mothering

This is some of what I wrote to my daughter in response to her thoughts on having children, or not:

My feelings about having children are mine alone. I have had my children and now those adult children have to live their own lives and make their own choices. 

It doesn’t matter if the choices are about having a family or what you do for fun or where you live or who you marry or or or…. I love you all with a depth unimaginable to anyone but a parent (that is not meant to be patronizing, just a fact)

So, I am the mother of five. Former children now adults. I parented five children. 

Maybe I didn’t do the best job, nobody does. But I am glad I did. However, I am not totally defined as a mother. I don’t feel that I ever “lost” myself by being a mother. I am the same unique, extroverted, opinionated person I was before I was ever a mother. 

Courtney nursing at about 6 months old.  1978

Morgan nursing in Nick's office, Chiang Mai, Thailand 1983

Darcy nursing in our home, Tromso, Norway 1984

Chance nursing on our deck in Reston, VA 1993

Austin nursing while I typed up a report, Taipei, Taiwan 1989

Maybe being a mother has helped form how I express myself and how I see the world. But I am still me.