Changing but recognizable

Courtney, my first born, just got a hair cut and color after years of having red and blue and purple hair.  She posted a picture of her new hair cut on Facebook, and I was startled to see what a resemblance she has to the Norwegian part of the family. 

I think she looks a lot like my father's mother, my Grandma Thompsen.  She also looks a lot like my cousin Colleen and Colleen's daughter, Kate, both of whom look a lot like my (our) grandmother.

Courtney's new hair cut and color.  September 2018

My cousin Colleen and her daughter Kate at Courtney's house in Portland July 2018

Courtney on her front porch July 22, 2018

My grandparents, two uncles and my dad as a baby ca 1918

It's hard to see any real detail, but Courtney looks a lot like my grandmother in this picture.  It's those high Norwegian cheek bones.

And then there's Courtney, my baby 1978

Business Courtney 2011 (I love her hair in this picture!)

And Star Trek Courtney 2013

It's the damn knees again

Went to the orthopedist today and learned what I already knew.  I need new knees.  I need to lose about 50 lb. I know I can do it, but it is so slow and hard to do.      So, this is my current obsession.  Pain and weight loss.  I got a knee brace today which helps with walking.   I know that part of why this is such a big deal is that I didn't have to get this big.  What in the world happened?   I guess denial about my weight and now it's coming back to hurt me big time.

At least I have low blood pressure and a healthy heart!

Before going to the orthopedist, we went to our house in Reston.  we met there with our realtor and talked about all the other houses on the market in our area and how our house compares with those houses and all the things we can/ should do do make our house more up to date and hence more salable.

I guess that's the way these things work.  My mother in law said , when getting her house ready to go on the market, everything gets fixed up so you can leave it to someone else.

we bought a new stainless steel fridge for the house.  It looks huge to me, but it really doesn't stick out any more than the old one. 

Before new fridge

With new fridge

It rained really hard today.   I suspect it was some of the effect of Hurricane Florence.   On the news this evening, I saw that three tornadoes touched down in Richmond.  I texted Austin and Chance, who both live in Richmond and learned that they had been hanging out at Austin's place and were safe.  They were without power for a while, but last I heard it was back on.

I am having a hard time writing because I have such a hard time getting comfortable.  It's because of my knees.        

Last week I called my Aunt Joanne.  My Uncle Norman died a few months ago- Joanne's husband.  I keep telling myself that I need to call Aunt Joanne, and I finally did!   Well, surprise surprise, today she called me back.   She is so sweet, and I know that she misses Uncle Norman.   

Aunt Joanne has had both knees and both hips replaced. Talking to get was encouraging!

Okay, I am making big yawns which is my body telling me to go to bed!

                                                                                                                                                                                                               

Thinking about stuff

Feeling very self centered lately.   With good cause I guess.  Not being sure what's going to happen when I stand up makes me do a lot of contemplating.

After her stroke, my mom lost a lot of her ability to do the physical things she had always taken for granted.  She told me once that when she is sitting in her recliner, in her head she is a 14 year old.  Then she tries to move and she cannot.

I heard her say that, but I don't know if I really "heard" her.  She was saying that she had lost control of so many aspects of her life.

I have not had a stroke, so I know that's not why I am feeling so limited now.  But, at the moment I am disabled.  My gait is stiff and unsure.  When I stand up I am afraid I will lose my balance because of the pain I have in my knees.

I haven't really been feeling "oh woe is me".   Just frustrated and maybe a little humiliated/ embarrassed. 

Like my mom, I feel like everything is fine.  Then it's not.

There are boxes still in the garage that we have moved over.  Nick has dealt with much of the stuff.   So what's left is almost all mine.

I have boxes of yarn and fabric and patterns and sewing notions.   I have books and scrapbooks/   If I were able, I would have moved them at least into the house and out of the garage.   This is the kind of things that my kids could have helped us with when we were moving in.  I know we could have probably hired someone.  But this is the kind of stuff that friends and neighbors and mainly, family helps with.

I know that when you give to your children we shouldn't try to make them feel guilty.  We don't remind them of all the times we have moved them.  Come to their assistance.  Nick has driven all over the place for the kids- to Columbus, Ohio, to Annapolis and to Richmond.  It;s what we do.

I am going to weight watchers in the hopes of getting enough weight off so my knees feel better and ultimately so I can have knee replacement surgery.

I hate pain.  My knees don't hurt, or hurt too badly when I am sitting down.  But even that can be a challenge because the backs of my legs start to hurt.

Tomorrow I am hoping to get to church.  A new church for us.  There's a Unitarian church not too far away.

Monday I go see my orthopedist and see what can be done to help me get through this and start feeling better.

Meanwhile, I need to renew my temporary handicap window tag
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In other news, we bought a new refrigerator for our house in Reston.  The biggest complaint folks have about that house is that it is outdated.  We neutralized and depersonalized the house as much as possible.  Problem is, not it is so impersonal I think it probably feels too cold to prospective buyers.

So here's my kitchen before new fridge and after new fridge:

September 2018

Schools started here in Virginia a few weeks ago.  By now I guess that they have started all over the US.

It was so sweet to see "my babies" in their first day of school photos.  No, not my babies that I gave birth to.  All of the babies I have met through La Leche League and other breastfeeding support.  I feel attached to them all!   So many of the moms who have come to LLL meetings, and even more who have come to the weekly breastfeeding cafe' that I have held almost every week, for eight years or so.    And so many of them were first babies- it's easier to negotiate a coffee shop with one little baby than with a toddler and a baby.   So, I not only get to follow these former babies, I get to see pictures of the younger siblings. 

It takes me back to the first La Leche League Group that I started and led all alone in 1981, in Chiang Mai, Thailand.  Only two moms, with their kids, came to that first meeting.  Then more and more moms came.   We had an international group.  Moms with the American Consulate, a Canadian mom.  A couple of missionary women who were married to hill tribes men.  A Swiss midwife and her new baby.  A mom who had premature twins.   I went back to Chiang Mai in 1997 and saw so many of those moms and their kids.   The missionary families stay in place for a long time while doing their missionary work.

Most of the moms from then are grandmothers now.  Thanks to Facebook, I have reconnected with many of "my" moms from back then and also from more recently.  Even when folks move away it is easy to stay in touch.   

We are sort of settling into our new house.  We still don't have much furniture because it is still being used to "stage" our house in Reston in the hopes of selling it. 

So now I have a longer drive to get to the Tuesday Starbucks LLL group, but I keep on going!

I thought I had a lot to write about, but I guess I am too tired.

Maybe next time.  Good night.